working on the workings...

Remember on my list of 101 in 1001 how I mentioned that I need to make a pro and con list for my current employment to decide whether it's still worth it or not? Well, I no longer feel the need to do so because I have already made up my mind about it. A decision which you will just have to wait with baited breath to find out. However, recently CelticBuffy asked me an interview question that got me to thinking about this job situation.

If you could disregard money and the possible need for further education, what career would you choose for yourself and why?

I hate this question. Mostly because I don't really have a clue. Here's what I do know.

My dream job criteria would include:

• Must challenge my mind on a daily basis and cause me to think outside of the box at times.
• Must not be a self starter situation. I need someone to give me a list of things that need to be done with the exact times that they need to be done (taking into account that I suck at deadlines).
• Must be inside of a building. Nothing involving the outdoors will do for me at all.
• Must allow me to have a lunch break either inside or outside of the office where I can eat quickly and then read for a little bit to re-focus my energies for a little while.
• Must allow me to wear clothing that I find to be comfortable. I don't necessarily need to wear blue jeans and T-shirts to work but no stuffy suits for me, please.
• Must allow me to have co-workers that I can socialize with. I don't want to work with a bunch of guys that grunt as they pass by or girls that act like we are in high school. Just normal people that can hold up their end of a conversation and can at least pretend to care about what I say.
• Allowing me to have my cell phone on is a definite plus since Dear Hubby texts me often and the kids school has that number in case of emergencies.
• Should be something that can allow me to create something, organize something or otherwise bring something to fruition.
• Should not included physical labor of any kind (except for walking to and from my car and maybe a copy room).

That job shouldn't be too hard to find, right? Ha Ha. We'll see when and if I need to go looking. :)

Thanks for the question CelticBuffy! I promise to get to the rest of them, too!

Flying with my butt hanging out

Something about my trip last weekend drove me absolutely bonkers and yet, now that I look back, I realize that I dealt with it like a pro.  I never had a meltdown.  I never had a panic attack.   I did just fine.  And you should be proud of me. 

The trip was one without planning.  Completely a "Fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" Operation.  Why?  That's the way my mom wanted it.  Well, that and because it's difficult to plan things to do in advance when one doesn't know who all will be there. 

Maybe I better break this down for you a bit more.  As I have mentioned previously, my little sis is moving to Italy.  In an effort to allow my kids to see her kids one last time before they move, I bought tickets for the three of us to go down to see her and I didn't tell her we were coming. 

My mom bought a ticket at the same time I did, but Little Sis knew she was coming.  Big Sis got wind of the plans for me, mom and my kids to go and decided to come too.  But she flew in from another city with her daughter and granddaughter in tow. 

So to get you up to speed, there were 11 of us.  Mom, Big Sis, Neice and baby, Little Sis and three small kids, me, Teensy and Bubba.  Yep.  11 of us.  That made the planning thing hard. 

Basically it boiled down to this (and I'll expand on the funny/worthy stories in later posts)...

 

• We flew on an early evening flight into Las Vegas.  We got the tickets for cheap and made the trip cheaper by not checking any luggage.  The kids entertained themselves most of the way and were only mildly annoying on the plane. 

• We surprised my Little Sister, left the airport and drove the strip to see the sights before we stopped to eat at a Burger King.

• Then we drove 3 hours to my Little Sister's house on an Army Post while Bubba puked from car sickness and the other kids fell asleep.  Later I was awakened by an ambulance, a fire truck and a cop car in front of her house in the dead of night.  Probably a domestic dispute from the looks of it.

• The next morning (while we washed Bubba's blanket), the kids played in the park and my Neice played Rock Band while the adults got the cars loaded for the long drive ahead.

• We drove through California looking at the sights out the window on our way to Hollywood Blvd.  We stopped to eat at a Wendy's in what we assumed was a version of China Town.  Then we walked a few blocks on either side of the Hollywood Blvd. to see the stars in the sidewalk where Little Sis got accosted by a vagabond lady selling star maps and Bubba played the part of a corpse in an attempt to get his name on a star.

• We attempted to find our way to Santa Monica Pier (at this point completely giving up on the GPS system that we had nicknamed "The Bitch" because she kept taking us on useless scenic routes of places like ChinaTown instead of just getting us to our destination).  When we got there, we saw the beach at dusk and then stayed to enjoy the rides.  (My nephew, Just a Marine, showed up to hang with us there, too.)

• Then we found a hotel (two rooms for $129 each!) and stayed the night.  We awoke the next morning to a beautiful, but chilly, day and returned to the beach to play for a bit.

• Then we got naked in the pier parking lot (with open doors as our dressing room) so that we could change and get back into the car for the 4-5 hour drive to Vegas.  We did stop at a Mall along the way so that we could eat and to let the kids play and Big Sis could do some shopping. 

• We then arrived in Vegas where we stayed at the Bellagio Hotel for the night and we watched the Dancing Waters.

• The next morning, we walked to Treasure Island, rode in a cab, had some amazing Gelato, and then said goodbye to fly home. 

That, ladies and gentleman, was our trip in a nutshell.  Please keep in mind that all hotel reservations were made while driving down the road with multiple calls to information.  "The Bitch" screwed up many, many times putting us in places we didn't intend to be going through and causing us many more hours in the car than was necessary. 

How did I handle it without a breakdown?  I kept my own little world organized, called my husband a lot and took moments where all I did was breathe in and breathe out.  Believe me...it wasn't easy.

To tide you over...and allow me some rest.

I know that I have been MIA. I kind of apologize but really, I am too damn tired for that nonsense. I just can't keep up.

I got back from my trip on Monday evening and had to work yesterday and today (as well as, tomorrow and Friday--what happened to a day or two to recover from vacation?). Last night I had a Girl Scout meeting and Miss Quiet wasn't in attendance because her grandma had a heart attack yesterday (thoughts are with you girl!) so I ran it myself. Wouldn't you know that all of my girls would be there and the meeting would be scheduled to be held with another troop. We made it through despite the case of the missing girl (that was solved) pretty much unscathed. And of course, to top that off, it was Tuesday which is a wrestling practice night so I had to arrange for someone to take Bubba for me.

Anyway...today you should be getting a recap of my trip, right? Um, no. Today, you will be getting this.

It was totally stolen from Amy who stole it from Kapgar.

And I will work on a recap of my awesome trip for tomorrow. I am dying to show you pictures of the best hotel bed I have ever had the opportunity to spend a mere four hours sleeping in. :)

Try Me

Bold = want to try; bold strikeout = done

1. Started my own blog (And here it is!)
2. Slept under the stars (while camping but never outside of a tent that I can recall)
3. Played in a band (I played a doumbek drum in a band called "Dunromi" for a couple of years)
4. Visited Hawaii (Would totally love to go)
5. Watched a meteor shower (Yep, took the kids outside of town where it was dark but didn't see a whole lot.)
6. Given more than I can afford to charity (Okay, maybe not more than I can afford but I do give quite generously a lot.)
7. Been to Disneyland/World (Been there, Done that...can't seem to find a picture.)
8. Climbed a mountain

(We climbed that mountain for Bubba's Birthday this last year. It's actually a Butte but it was so far to walk!)

9. Held a praying mantis
10. Bungee jumped
11. Sung a solo (I sang a duet once, rather badly, and danced a solo but never really sung one.)
12. Visited Paris

((Okay so this isn't really in Paris. It's the Paris Hotel in Vegas and I didn't really even visit there, I just saw it while driving down the street. But it was beautiful!)

13. Watched lightning at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch (knitting on the Knifty Knitter, counted cross-stitch, scrapbooking, etc.)
15. Adopted a child
16. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
17. Had food poisoning
18. Grown my own vegetables (In my mom's garden and I tended my step-grandma's garden a lot when I was younger.)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (Totally wanted to do this today but couldn't bring myself to do it when I had so much stuff to catch up on.)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb (I fed over 100 bum lambs ever morning and night by bottle when I was younger.)
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

(Sunset while driving home from my sister's house last summer.)

31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise (Am planning on taking a Disney Cruise for a few days and then spending a few days at Disney World in a couple of years.)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person (I adore waterfalls!)
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language (Am still working on the German thing!)
37. Had enough money to be satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing (but never climbed a rock wall)
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David (I did see a naked statue with a huge thingy while in Vegas though.)
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

(After the sun went down, it got dark, and we stayed and hung out at the Pier so I kinda walked the beach in the moonlight.)

46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain (Yes, I have done this.)
53. Played in the mud (Don't really like to but have done it.)
54. Been in a movie (Almost was an extra once but I didn't think fast enough!)
55. Gone to a drive-in movie (Took my husband for the very first time not that long ago.)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China (My son would like to walk on it.)
57. Started a business (I have been self employed with two different companies now--Creative Memories and NatureRich.)
58. Taken a martial arts class (I am signing up for a Community Ed Women's Self-Defense class this summer.)
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies (Several times and guess what? It's Girl Scout Cookie Time! We start selling on February 6th!!!)

62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason (My husband is good at this sometimes.)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma (Don't do it anymore because it makes me sick when I do so Hubby would prefer that I didn't.)
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy (I still have my blankie from when I was a kid and that was my favorite thing in the world.)
70. Pieced a quilt (Am still working on finishing up two that I started.)
71. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
72. Eaten caviar (EWWWWWW!)
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle (Is it possible that I sit behind House when I do this? Maybe? Please!)

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand-new car (I'll take a New Pontiac sports car please.)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper (I think I did for National Honor's Society once.)
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (Ew, ew, ew! I did this with chikens and hated every single moment of it!)
87. Visited the White House
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Met someone famous

91. Sat on a jury
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one (If you don't know this you haven't been reading very well.)
94. Had a baby (Two of them actually.)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake (Not big on swimming in lakes.)
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Been stung by a bee
99. Ridden an elephant (I think I did at a circus once.)
100. Owned a cell phone

Ssshhhh! Guess where I am!?!

Life.

It's what we do between the time we get here and the time we leave. And we only get one shot at it, right? So what stops most of us from making the most of it? From living life to it's fullest extremes and making ourselves happy? We have the ability to make decisions for ourselves and decide how we want to live and what we want to get out of it, so we all need ot start doing it.

I learned a hard lesson this past summer. I may not be here tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Everyone knows that. But how many people live their lives that way? I didn't. I lived on the principle that there would always be time to do the things I wanted to do and experience. I assumed that there would always be a tomorrow. Now I realize that there may not be. And because of that lesson, my life has changed and I act in a different manner. I am starting to live my life on my own terms.

I found these 10 rules that seem to me to be a great starting place for living. A few rules, so to speak.

1. Give yourself permission to claim your life.. That's right —Permission. You're the only one who can decide you are in charge of Your life. Even though it feels like you're not supposed to do so, turn off the internal editors, the old tape recordings, the "shoulds, have to's, and musts", and the rules that didn't come from you.
2. Define what living means to you. It's not as hard as it sounds. Just picture yourself at the end of your life looking back. What words would you want to describe how you lived your life and who you are as a person?
3. Stop living in the future. Every time you think "someday" or "when I have time I will," stop. Ask yourself, "Why not now?" Think about this sentence, "I always wanted to, but never did." Start doing the things you always planned to do. Choose your life every morning. Plan one thing you will do that day to feel alive.
4. Surround yourself with people who enjoy living. They've obviously discovered how to have a life and live it. Why not hang with the pros?
5. Lay down your pain and your anger. Carrying them around makes living harder and less fun. It doesn't bring anything, and it steals a lot.
6. Let the losers win. Don't argue about things that you don't care about. Unless there's some real threat, let the folks who have something to prove, prove what they need to. Why waste your living time trying to fix what's wrong with them?
7. Create energy. Jump to forgiveness and love, then figure things out. Most conclusions we jump to are not only wrong, they're negative. Negative conclusions lead us to prepare a defense. Being on the defensive isn't living. It's hiding from life.
8. Learn the physical symptoms of when your head and heart become disconnected. We know when we're having a knee jerk reaction, when we're feeling sorry for ourselves, and when we're being blind to people's feelings. We can remember how it felt physically while we were behaving badly. Get to know those symptoms, and you can stop the behavior. Living life will feel a whole lot safer because you won't be in danger of shooting yourself in the foot.
9. Take small risks that push your boundaries in every way. The joy of life is packed in learning that matches our skill set. When we stretch just a bit intellectually, physically, emotionally, we grow. Living is growing. Even your cells know that.
10. Value and protect the people and the places you care about. A job isn't a life. It's just a part of one. Let the people you care about come first, and let everyone know that you do.

So, this weekend, I am living in the moment and taking life into my own hands. Want to know what I am doing?

I have flown down to Vegas with my kids and my mom to surprise my little sister with a visit before her and her family leaves for Italy for 3 years. She doesn't know me and the kids are coming and is only expecting my mom. My other sister, her daughter and her boyfriend, and her grandaughter will also be there for a visit so we should be having a wonderful time. It's been really hard to keep this from you internet peeps but I just had to keep my mouth shut to save the surprise.

I don't have the extra money for the trip as expenses have been piling up around here. I don't get paid time off work ever. And there are a million and two things that should be done right here at home. However, I am happily referring to rules #3 and #10 above. I may have the opportunity in the future to walk Venice Beach and the see the Hollywood stars with my little sister. I may in a month be able to responsibly afford this trip but I may not be here in a month. And my kids won't see their cousins for at least 3 years as flights overseas are not in any way affordable for my family of four. So now is my chance. Now is our chance to sieze the moment and make the memories that will last us though our entire lives...however long that may be.

(((((This post was pre-written on Wednesday, January 21, 2009 and set to post on the following Saturday because holding this surprise inside was no longer something I could tolerate and I just needed to get it out!!! I promise to bring back adventurous stories and humorous pics from my trip to Nevada/California.)))))

Antique is older than dirt...just so you know...

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to Step-Dad!

Happy Birthday to you!

Hope you enjoyed the steak and french fries last night...even if you wouldn't eat the vege-filled corn because you are more picky than I ever imagined one person could be!

Hope you enjoyed the company...even though the three women did nothing but gab non-stop, the little girl talked your non-hearing ears off, the little boy ate slower than humanly possible and you were probably kicked under the tiny table a million and eighteen times.

Hope you enjoyed the front row parking...even though I didn't think it was safe for the kids to lay down to hold the spot for you.

Hope you enjoyed the chocolate molten cake thingy for dessert...even though they refused to do the clappy, singy thing for you for goodness knows what reason.

But most of all...

Hope you enjoy today...your real 61st birthday...and know that you are loved and thought of fondly...even though I just told the whole World Wide Web that you are an antique!

Scientific Studies are overrated...

I get these cravings sometimes. And when I get them, I have to give in or the craving will just continue until I have satisfied it and that gets overwhelmingly annoying.

So this morning I had a craving.

My friend says that if you are craving something then your body is in need of something that is contained within that item you are craving, some type of vitamin or nutrient that your body is currently lacking in.

I believe that is complete bullshit. (As of this morning, that is.)

This morning I had a craving. For Gummi Worms. Yep, those chewy, allegedly fruit flavored little devils were calling to me until I found them on the supermarket shelf. The very last bag, hanging all alone amongst the other candies in a tribute to just how popular his buddies had been. Silently screaming out their pleas.

Well, I bought that 99 cent bag of worms (along with a chocolate covered doughnut, a massive Hershey's with Almonds candy bar and a Mountain Dew. Can you say sugar high? Yep. Can you say diet? Not today apparently.) and I took them up to the cash register where a nice cashier started to ring up my purchase. I took one look at her large size and thought, "Shit. maybe I should put some of these sugar back". Unfortunately, I didn't listen to that inner voice today. I paid my money, grabbed my goodies and went out to my van.

Now, I do have some self control. I did immediately eat that doughnut (it was breakfast time after all and I didn't get to eat before I left the house) but I didn't touch a single other thing. I have still yet to finish the Dew and the candy bar is in the freezer for when work gets ultra suckity later this week. The Gummi Worms? Well, that is the point of my post, now isn't it? And maybe I should ought to get to that point. :)

So, for lunch I ate my sundried tomato and pesto flavored turkey breast that was skewered with pretzel sticks (See, proof that I don't always eat the least healthy things!) but when I was done that craving for the Gummi Worms came back on quite strongly. I know that there is absolutely nothing that I could be lacking that is contained in that candy because, well, because there is nothing contained in that candy but sugar and a bunch of words that are too long and too hard to prounounce (let alone type up). And that is why I believe that craving thing to be a complete myth.

I crave items that have exactly 0% nutritional value and 100% holy-crap, bad-for-you crud.

Which ends my scientific study on cravings being your bodies way of telling you what you are lacking.

Maybe next time, I can find the answer for why I eat half the bag of said item even though I fulfilled the cravings after just two worms and thusly feel as though my stomach is crammed with a foam-like substance making me feel bloated and knowing full well that it will take at least two days for this crap to break down enough to make me stop feeling this way.

Things you all should know...

• Shampoo and Hand Soap ARE NOT the same thing.
• Folding paper (lots of it) is way harder on the shoulders than one would originally guess.
• The weather can be -15 degrees one day and by the next be a balmy 55 degrees...in my part of the country anyway.
• I am not interested in being in the middle of any of your dramatic renditions of soap opera lives...unless it will make my life more amusing without screwing anything up for me.
• I am extremely territorial...even if the space I am in is technically yours, you should stay the hell out of it!
• Passive-aggressiveness is not a trait I envy in the slightest.  In fact, I suggest you take your passive-aggressive ass somewhere far, far away from me.
• I am fully capable of keeping a large secret when it is meant to be a surprise for someone special...but not for long!
• I am craving a good nights sleep like you wouldn't believe!
• Today, history was made and I didn't pay much attention to the media.  I did, however, feel the shift in the air of the country and I am anxious to see where we will go from here.
• I am tired.

 

Yeah.  You didn't need to know any of that.  But hey, I needed to write it.  Thanks anyway. 

He's a go-getter...finally.

The stench of sweat, musty heat and dirty water almost knocked me out as I walked into the room and instructed my kids to not step on the mats with their wet snow boots.

Why do I subject myself to this again?

We made our way to an empty spot on the wall, with Teensy holding her nose and whining about the stench. I pulled the special shoes out of the backpack and it took me 10 minutes with my face entirely too close to feet smelling no better than dying flesh to cram them onto him.

Why do I subject myself to this again?

An hour and a half of stifling heat, a wet smell and a bunch of boys with odd groping hands slamming their opponents into the rubber mats and I was entirely convinced that this sport was my very least favorite of all. I would much rather be sitting on the sidelines of a football game with my ass frozen to a metal bleacher. And if you know me at all, you know I don't deal well with cold.

Why do I subject myself to this again?

Oh yeah. The kid.

The kid who put much determination in his little inactive, video game playing body and made it through an exercise routine with little to no whining and buckets of sweat. An exercise routine that would wind even the most athletic of the parents carefully watching from the sidelines.

Yeah, my kid. Because he wants to do this and he wants to be good at this. It's his choice and he is doing his very best even though his little body aches and aches and aches. He doesn't complain...for the first time. He is tired and sore and he looks at me with eyes that plead, "Mom, this is torture" but he still continues on.

And I sat there with my butt glued to a hard floor, a bored little girl clinging to my arm, a loud whistle assaulting my ears at sporadic intervals and a smell that will for sure take a gallon of Clorox to get rid of.

Because of him. My little man. My Bubba.

Yep. He's a wrestler now.

And I'm a proud momma. Even if he never wins a single bout. Er, match? Yeah, I think it's called a match. Right? Hey! No one said I couldn't be a proud momma even if I know absolutely nothing about why those boys are out there trying to keep their "weinies off the mat"* or why they are wearing leotards just like Teensy does for dance only in a different color.

And really? I am just in it for the cool shirts! Bubba's even has his last name on the back. Now how neat is that!

*That is seriously what the coach told the boys when trying to teach them how to get out of a Half Nelson at practice last night. i just about died laughing! That is until I noticed the other parents staring and then I muzzled myself in an effort to not embarrass my kid.

Can you see me now!?!

Okay so I am not entirely happy with this new layout. I am all about the pink and adding a bit of black always allows for a slimmer looking physique but this...this is just all too jarring! I went from a warm and inviting layout to something that makes you want to bore your eyes out at first sight. Argh!

Why don't I change it, you ask? Well, my dears, the free website at which I find my most wonderful layouts is down. It had up a few new Valentine's day layouts and I tried them all out to no avail. I just didn't like them. This was the one I settled on when I realized that I could no longer access my old layout. I reapeat. Argh!

So until the website is back up and I can get a new and better layout or I learn how to make my own HTML codes, this is what we are all stuck with. I apologize for the burst of so much color. I promise to tone it down soon. :)

Do this! Do this now!

Sizzle invited her readers to participate in the interview MeMe.  Always the one to jump on the blog bandwagon, I threw my name into the mix to get interviewed and she came up with some awesome questions for me to answer.  Check them out!

1) Describe parenthood in one word.
Trying.  As in "I'm trying the best I can and the kids are trying to drive me bonkers."

2) What is a quality that you admire in others and why?
There are a lot of qualities that I admire in people.  The top being honesty and loyalty because I have never been all that good at either of those.  I am working really hard to get better at both qualities though so that should count for something. 

3) What is one thing about yourself that you think doesn't come across through your blog posts?
That even though life right now seems to be basically on track, I have struggled through a lot in my life and have yet to find the exact path that I should be traveling on.  I finally know which direction to head in but I am not sure what it is that I want to even find along this path.  I don't think that people get that I am more than just a proud momma and a wife because I am not sure how to open up about the rest of the stuff. 

4) If you had one wish and you HAD to wish for something superfluous and materialistic, what would you wish for?
This is the easiest question on this list!  I would totally wish for a fully loaded laptop computer.  I still live in the stone age with my desktop and I hate the fact that I am stuck in my office without a view of the television.  I am completely convinced that having a laptop would mean better blog posts and a finished manuscript of some sort.  Plus, I don't want to go on my trip to Germany without one because I want to be able to access the web to talk to my BFF back home for the two weeks that I am gone!

5) What food do you never grow tired of eating?
I go in spurts on what I like to eat but it seems that I never tire of eating Pizza Hut pizza.  I know it's kinda bad considering all the grease but I love the stuff and could eat it just about everyday (as witnessed by the sudden onslaught of weight gain going on in my household!)

****
So, Here are the meme details:

If you'd like to play along, just follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. Be sure you link back to the original post.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Come out, come out, where ever you are...

Have you heard the news? It's Delurking Day!

What does that mean? It means that whoever you are, where ever you're from, if you are here reading this right now you are to peek your head around that corner and say a little hello to me. Yippee!

Show me your stuffs internet. Show me your stuffs.

Anyone and everyone welcome to comment, whether you visit me all the time or are just dropping by for the first time, those regular commenters and those of you who just stand in the background...Come out, come out, where ever you are!!!

Donating by way of trivia...

I came across a site recently on a random path through the links of the internet and found it to be an interesting way to waste time, a wonderful way to work my brain and a possible way to help the hungry through the UN World Food Program. What could be better?

You should check out this site.

http://www.freerice.com/

The premise is that for every question you answer correctly, they will donate 20 grains of rice to the UN World Food Program. That's it. All you have to do is answer mulitple choice questions and they will give rice to starving people. Even the laziest of the lazy and those that the economy are treating rather harshly right now can help others in need. Awesome!

The website defaults to the category of English Vocabulary but you can change that to fit your mood and/or desire. The categories are: Famous Paintings, Chemical Symbols (Basic), Chemical Symbols (Full List), English Grammar, English Vocabulary, Identify Countries on the Map, World Capitals, French, German, Italian, Spanish, Basic Math (Pre-Algebra), and Multiplication Table.

There is a rice bowl on the right hand side of the screen that will keep track of how many grains of rice you are donating, but it resets everytime you leave the site so you have to keep track of it on your own if you want a running total every time you go back.

So far, I have donated 6130 grains of rice by procrastinating work making myself smarter. I fully intend to use this site to learn enough German vocabulary to get me by on my Germany trip! Woo Hoo! Free lessons and helping the hungry...

I repeat...what could be better than that?

Hyper-sensitivity runs in the family...

"Mom, some of the big kids weren't very nice today."

Oh great! I've been wondering when this was going to happen. The kids in this town recently moved from 4 small elementary schools (each with it's own grade) to one extremely large building housing all kids K-4. The school is beautiful, drop-offs and pick-ups are a nightmare, and I have been worried about bullying since the day they broke ground.

"What happened, baby girl?"

"This big kid walked by us and said, 'Hi, little peeps' and that was very nice."

"Um, hmm. That does seem nice."

"Then another one walked by and said, 'Hi, little people.' and that was just not nice, mommy."

"Um, what?" I looked across the dark car at Dear Hubby and gave him the "what the hell" look.

"Little peeps is nice. Little people is not."

"Baby," I said in my most understanding momma voice, "they are the same thing. Peeps is just a shortened form of people."

"Nah hah! They were being mean!"

Lightbulb flashed brightly above my head as I realized that she thought the older kids were calling her and her friend midgets. Oh! I get it now!

"No, sweetheart. The kids weren't trying to call you a midget. They said little people because you are littler than them and you are a person."

That is when the waterworks started. She bawled her eyes out for several minutes because "Mommy just doesn't get it." and "they were being mean to me!".

An eye roll and a whispered, "What the hell is this all about?" to Dear Hubby later, I lean back into the back seat to see if she is okay. Nope. Still freaking out! I turned back around and tried to stifle the laughter because really? What doesn't she understand? This is insane? The big kids were being nice by saying hi and she takes it as an insult to her physical stature. Maybe I overdid it on the no name calling lecture. Hmm. Really? What the hell?

She finally quiets down and I assure her that it will all be okay tomorrow.


Can a girl get PMS at six? Because really...holy shit! The waterworks were totally unnecessary!


I tried to take a picture of her bawling face but as we were in the car heading for Wal-mart at 6:30 at night, the atmosphere was too dark for my camera phone. Next time, I promise. She really is just adorable when she cries!

Politically Correct...for the first time in my life!

I read this and almost spit my Chai tea latte across the desk!

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a ' BREASTED American.'
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a ' LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN..'
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'

Really, people...that is some funny shit!!!

All of the dirt that makes us human...

Do you ever watch those cheesy movies on Lifetime?  Cheesy not because of their content but because of the two-bit actors/actresses, the over played drama and the overdone themes.  You know the ones I am talking about.  You have all seen at least one.   I have seen several.  On occasion. 

When I am feeling introspective about my life.  When I want something of a pick me up, a happy ending, I tune in to that channel to watch one of their romance novels on the screen.  When I am in a mood to try and find hope in this world via problems that are way bigger than mine, I tune in to one of their true to life someone-stole-my-baby movies.  The movies always deliver a plethora of emotions and a ladder up and out of whatever funk I am currently residing in. 

On New Years Day, Lifetime aired a "Ring in the Romance" marathon of movies.  Betcha can't guess the theme!  Okay, well maybe you can.  :)  Anyway, I DVR'd a movie called "Chaos Theory".  I was enchanted with the title, the actor was someone I recognized and the beginning caught our attention nicely. 

The scene:

A New Years Eve party in a swanky city bar.  6 friends sitting on couches around a coffee table are discussing their resolutions.  The main woman stands, walks overtop the table and says that her resolution is to find a husband...and she is going to pick from her friends.  The men start clawing over each other for this "miraculous chance".  It is settled that she will choose her husband from amongst the four men (one of who is with his woman at the time) solely based upon the name of his penis. 

Really?  Do guys really name their penis's?  Is that really something that any self respecting woman would base a life-long decision on?  The name of a ding-a-ling?  Really?  Hmmm.  Although I am now extremely curious as to whether or not men name them and what exactly they choose for names.  What is the selection process for something like that?  What are his thought processes? 

I am going to name my member today.  What will I call him?  Hmmm...
Princess Sophia Nope, too girly.
Squishy, Squishy Oh, not the right impression.
Mr. Ed May not live up to it's name.
Gunther. Yeah, that one may work.  Sounds strong and manly.  I'll go with that.

How about women?  Do women name their parts, too? 

The left one is Everest and the right is Kilamanjaro. 

What the hell?  Really?

Oh, the va-jay-jay?  I call it Mount Vesuvius on account of the fact that it erupts violently. 

Wow!  This post sure has gotten off track.  Completely.  And taken a slight turn to the left.  Oops.  Okay what was my point again?  Oh yeah!

So I DVR'd this movie and watched it the other day when I wasn't having to deal with Hubby's and kids and noise (because I hate those things when I am trying to escape into a tv show or movie!).  The movie itself was weird and random and not really all that great if I am being honest, which apparently I am, but it ended with the most amazing monologue that I had to rewind and write, rewind and write, rewind and write until I had it all taken down on paper.

"Well, it turns out that there are few things more chaotic than the beat of a human heart.  Speeding up, slowing down, a pretty face, a flight of stairs...it's always changing depending on what's happening to us out there.  It's an erratic son of a bitch.  But underneath all of that bumpity-bump mess, there is, in fact, a pattern.  The truth.  And it's love. 

The most important thing about love is that we choose to give it and we choose to receive it making it the least random act in the entire universe.  It transcends blood, it transcends betrayal and all of the dirt that makes us human."

Deep stuff, huh?  Yeah that's what I thought, too.  Those sentences, those words, smacked me so hard in the face that day, that I found myself taking a step backwards, looking around at my family and being entirely encased in a gratitude unlike any I have ever felt. 

My friend once told me she didn't believe in marriage because she believed that it was basically a cop out, in my understanding.  She said that married people wake up everyday next to their spouse and feel obligated to stay because they are married, because they made the choice to get married once when they were head over heels in love and continue to stay that way to avoid the hassle. 

As an unmarried woman, she woke up every day next to her partner and made the choice to stay even though she always had the option of a semi-hassle free parting of ways.  She felt that everyday choice was more significant than the one-time choice of getting married to begin with. 

I partially agree with her. 

But, internet, the truth is this.  I live in a chaotic world, but amongst that chaos is the truth that no matter what my past holds, my husband wakes up and chooses to love me and I wake up and choose to love him every single day. 

And for that I am grateful.  And beyond blessed. 

Interview with a vampiress...

I asked Lady K over at this site to interview me knowing full well that she would come up with questions that would stretch my mind to capacity in search of the answers. She has a way of sucking the answers right out of my being. Here's what she came up with. :)

#1 What are 5 words in the English language that inspire emotion in you whether love or hate, joy or confusion?

This one is interesting for me because in my life words are just words. I talk so much, so often that most words lose their meanings and are replaced with whatever I want them to be replaced with. But let me try and come up with a few. I guess number one would be love. That word gives me a sense of peace and you can bet that no matter when I am doodling that word will be one of the first things that emerges on the paper. Number two would be cunt. Cuss words don't usually affect me. Words only have as much power as you give them and in my world cunt has a lot of power. It is not a word that you will hear me say out loud...ever...and it is most definitely not a word I would throw out as an insult to another person. It evokes feelings of rage and sadness to hear it. Number three would be asinine. It makes me feel silly when I say it especially when I use it haphazardly in conversation. It's just a funny word to me. Number four would have to be dad. Confusion and sadness creep up over me when that word is used and I have to smash some feelings down. The last one would be smile. That is probably the most important word in my vocabulary. I use it often and it makes me happy.

#2 What song do you feel best describes you or a situation or emotion you are going through right now?

Music hasn't been all that inspirational to me recently. Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten" almost always speaks to me as I feel like I am writing my own book to the best of my ability but it is far from finished and I am the only one that is capable of writing it. It reminds me to say what I want to say because no one else can speak for me, to live with an mind and heart open to new possibilities, and to live my life instead of sitting on the sidelines.

#3 If you had one hour with a magic therapist who in that one hour could fix one emotional issue completely what one issue would you address?

The issues with my father. I believe that I can work through just about everything else on my own but the issues I have with my father run so deep and hurt so badly that I have found myself completely unable to deal with even a small portion of them and continue to cram them so far back in the recesses of my being that I fear the only release for them would be death. However, if a magic therapist could cure me of those issues (or at least give me the tools to deal properly), I believe that most of the other issues in my life would solve themselves.

#4 What scared you when you were little? When you were 20? Right now?

I don't remember having any fears when I was little. I guess I was scared of losing my little sister when she had surgery at the age of four. I have always been terrified of losing my brother for reasons unknown to me. After my dad left, I was scared I'd never see him again (and I haven't). When I was a teenager, I was scared of losing my mother at the hands of my step-father. When I was 20, I was scared of failing at being a parent. Now, I am scared of ghosts haunting my family, losing my children before their time, and of my husband no longer being here. There is more in my life to fear now than when I was little. Back then, I expected and relied upon my parents to protect me from anything harmful, today I have to do that myself.

#5 What makes you feel pretty?

It's interesting but this answer has taken more thought than one would expect. I guess for me to feel pretty everything has to fall right into place. My clothes have to be comfortable, my hair in place. My body must be feeling good (no aches or pains) and my skin not dry. I would have to have a reason to smile, too. A good day in my life makes me feel pretty. As soon as that day starts to go south, the prettiness fades away, too.

101 tasks for the betterment of me in 1001 days...

The Mission:Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Some common goal setting tips:
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it. 2. Stay Focused. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.
3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.
4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.
5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

Wanna join in? Check out http://www.triplux.com/dayzero/default.asp?view=gettingstarted and create your own list.


Why I am doing it--To better myself. I thrive on lists so why not have a list of things that I want to do that will better myself, my life and my surroundings?

Without further ado, here is my list of 101 taskes for the betterment of me in the next 1001 days (to be started on January 1st, 2009 and end on September 29, 2011). I will update this list as things are completed so check back often to see my progress!

Italicized items are in progress, bold items are finished and any related blog posts are linked within the task.

1. Get both of the kids’ scrapbook albums up-to-date.
2. Catalog every Christmas tree ornament with the date it was purchased or received and reason for it’s existence.
3. Write a hand-written letter to each of the kids on his/her birthday telling them how proud I am and about special memories from that year that I can recall.
4. Completely finish my Mother’s Love journal for my kids.
5. Sit down and seriously write a will and my wishes upon the ultimate demise of
myself.
6. Make 5 dresses for Teensy that are constructed well enough for her to wear and love.
7. Spend a major holiday somewhere other than my hometown or with extended family.
8. Take Teensy to a Paint-Your-Own-Pottery place and make a tea set to display and/or use for tea parties.
9. Organize and store all hard-copy photos in photo albums or in scrapbooks and all digital photos on DVD’s or CD’s for ease of use.
10. Get kids savings accounts up to 300 each. (150/300 Teensy) (183/300 Bubba)
11. Get kids they grief counseling they need to deal with their Grandma’s death.
12. Spend an entire day with Bubba doing whatever he wants to do.
13. Spend an entire day with Teensy doing whatever she wants to do.
14. Maintain a chore/help around the house/clean up after yourself routine everyday for a month. Then repeat. (0/31)
15. Take the kids to a real amusement park.
16. Celebrate all personal holidays with greeting cards for the honoree (birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, births, etc.) for all my family and friends for a complete calendar year. (3/12)
17. Establish a regular weekly Date Night complete with babysitter and stick to it for 3 months. (0/12)
18. Write a letter to Grandpa K. every month for a year telling him about our lives and asking any questions that I would like answered to fill in the blanks about that side of the family. Include pictures of the kids and hand-written paragraphs from them, as well. (0/12)
19. Take a picture of Hubby and I together every single day we are on vacation in Germany.
20. Send a proper thank you note or card for every gift received by me or my kids and every other act of kindness that deserves recognition.
21. Re-marry my husband on our 10 year Anniversary in Las Vegas.
22. Establish a routine “Friends Night Out” to maintain the important friendships in my life. Send a letter/e-mail update if the friend is not available for in person night out.
23. Purchase a family membership to the Community Center and use it to spend time swimming with the kids, lifting weights to get in shape and walking the track.
24. Take another Girls Time-Out trip with at least one of my friends, take loads of pictures and turn them into a photo book to go with the other one.
25. Take dance classes with my hubby.
26. Go to lunch with my husband at least 3 times a month for 6 months in a row. (0/18)
27. Take a trip to see each of my siblings with the sole purpose of spending time with them.
28. Read 101 books and keep a running list of the titles and my reactions to the book itself. (0/101)
29. Completely finish one of my already started stories to the point where I am satisfied with it’s completeness.
30. Finish the cross-stitch project I started for my mother.
31. Buy or rent and watch every single episode of every season of 5 shows that I like. Check out all of the special features of the DVD’s as well.
32. Purchase a laptop computer with wireless router.
33. Watch 200 movies and keep a list of those I liked and those I didn’t. (3/200)
34. Write a letter to biological father and actually mail it.
35. Take frame-worthy photos in 10 amazing places and turn them into 10 different works of art. (0/10)
36. Learn enough German to have a short conversation and/or get around in Germany when we are there.
37. Learn how to create a webpage using HTML code.
38. Take a self defense class.
39. Cook dinner every weeknight for a month. (0/20)
40. Eat at 5 new local restaurants that I have never tried before.
41. Apply for a passport.
42. Go on a date with myself (sit at Borders and read, see a movie, eat at Perkins).
43. Relax and enjoy the trip to Germany without freaking out about the little details. Go slow and really take in the surroundings instead of flying through touristy attractions.
44. Blog everyday for 60 days without fluff pieces. (0/60)
45. Write 100,000 words of fiction meant for others to read. (0/100,000)
46. Fill my phone memory card with music to inspire me.
47. Sing in public.
48. Donate to 10 different charities within a calendar year to help others in need. Keep track of which charities helped and do a blog entry encouraging others to donate as well. (1/10)
49. Sort trash and take it to recycling center every month for 6 months. (0/6)
50. Reach and maintain a savings account balance of $2,000 for 6 consecutive months. (0/6)
51. Make and maintain regular appointments at the dentist and doctor for both me and the kids.
52. Get health insurance for whole family and maintain it.
53. Drink daily recommended amount of water every day for two weeks. (0/14)
54. Catalog all possessions on a list with receipts for the big things and pictures of each room and buy a fireproof box to put it in for insurance purposes.
55. Make a pro/con list about my job and decide if it's worth keeping or if I should be seeking more challenging employment elsewhere.
56. Spend two hours or less on the computer doing personal stuff during work hours for two weeks straight. (0/14)
57. Finish the quilt that I started on my wedding day.
58. Help Bubba to finish the paintings for his bedroom walls.
59. Paint the saying and garden on Teensy's walls so she can enjoy it before she grows out of it.
60. Write an instruction manual for life for my kids including recipes done my way, life lessons according to me, and all of the little tips that I always call to ask of my mom.
61. Take a trip to visit my Grandpa in his home and take everything as it comes without being afraid of the possibilities.
62. Explore the area in which I live (the tourist attractions, as well as, the local arts and entertainment possibilities) and bestow that same honor upon my kids.
63. Set up a bi-weekly family night where all four of us are home and are actively doing everything together (making dinner, bike ride, playing a game) and maintain it for four months. (0/8)
64. Make it a point to call/text/e-mail siblings bi-weekly for six months to keep in touch. (0/12)
65. Cook a meal at home every weeknight for a month. (0/20)
66. Eat away from home less than four times in a month.
67. See a therapist to work through emotional issues I possess.
68. Complete a large home improvement project with my husband.
69. Take a cooking class.
70. Take steps to better my writing style and to pursue my dream of getting it all on paper.

As you can see, this list isn't finished. I have a few more to add and I will do that soon. For today this is all I could come up with!

Here's to the start of a new year...and a brand new list! Yay!