Late Night theories...

"People are complex. They are not good or bad, black or white. I think labels are destructive. The choices we make, especially when we're young, don't decide who we are. They just add to the people we are becoming." --Sage Baker on Priveleged

It's the occasional little gems like this quote that form the reason I watch much of what I do on television. This particular quote sums up my theory on life in a few short, perfectly worded, sentences.

It came at the end of an episode in which I smiled in pride at the way they tackled the same sex marriage issue with two men planning their wedding and then frowned in disgust when they showed only the first moments of the ceremony just to skip to the reception, never showing the vows and thus glazing over an important part for many viewers...including myself.

It came at the end of an episode in which a girl must face the fact that her religous boyfriend isn't open to new experiences in life being rather content with the limited experiences he already has and therefore must make the hard decision to break off the relationship and thus making me tear up (they were such a cute couple!!!).

It came at the end of an episode that contained as many ups and downs as my own life in the span of an hour instead of 28 years. An episode that left me feeling inspired and alive.

You see, my belief in life is that people are complex. We are all made up of a menagerie of experiences and lessons learned. There is no black and white, good and bad. It's all gray area to me. Every circumstance must be judged on an individual basis based upon that person's experiences and their lives up to that point. What is good for one is not necessarily good for the next.

Everything that happens in one's life makes up the person they become. If I do a bad thing, that doesn't make me a bad person. It makes me human. My childhood was full of abuse, negative feelings, and a large dose of heartache along with the good memories. As a teen, I made mistake after mistake. As an adult, I have made bad decisions and put myself ahead of others when I shouldn't have. And yet, I can't bring myself to regret a moment of anything that has happened in my life. I regret causing pain to others. I regret how I reacted at times. But I do not regret the actual events that have taken place in my life. It has all shaped and formed and molded who I am right this minute.

"The choices we make, especially when we're young, don't decide who we are. They just add to the people we are becoming."

So give people the chances they deserve. Realize that life is in the journey. Allow everything you experience and every choice you make to mold you into the best person you can be.

Maybe we'll all have it master by the day we die. One can only hope.

((Yeah. This is the type of thing I think about in the late night hours when the kids are sleeping and the Hubby is off working on his snowmobile. It doesn't happen often that I get quite this deep in thought. Hope it was a nice change of pace.))

Deserted Island here I come...

Scenario: Your ship has sunk. You have, of course, been stranded on a deserted island. You have salvaged a copy of the King James Version of the Bible and a copy of the complete works of Shakespeare. Nothing else. The very next day you find one of those Arabian Lamps in the sand. Of course, you rub it and, of course, a rather grumpy Genie appears. "Let’s get this straight - there is a recession going on. There are restrictions on the three wishes now. I don’t do water or air transport now so no boats, planes or magic carpets. As for electronics, forget it. There isn’t the infrastructure on this island. I can let you have one book and I mean one VOLUME, one essential item and one luxury item. Now hurry up and make your choices, I have to get to those five other islands you are going nominate."

MY BOOK

This is the book I would choose (or something like it) because if I am going to be stranded on a deserted island, I am going to need some lessons on survival. I wouldn't make it two days on Survivor (mostly because I just don't look that good in one of those tiny headbands they wear as shirts!) before they kicked my sorry ass off the island. And since I already have the complete works of Shakespeare and the bible, I will have reading material to live on for a while.

MY ESSENTIAL ITEM

How is that one item? Because it's my family and my family is one item. My hubby, my kids, and my best friend all rolled in to one wonderful--one essential to my happiness--thing.

MY LUXURY ITEM

A very large, very soft, very warm blanket. I have a tendency to get cold and there are so many fun things one can do with a blanket. So that is what I choose.

But wait. Oh shit. What about a knife to cut things with? What about matches to start a fire? What about a writing utensil so that I can keep a journal and write stories for the kids? What about something to keep them entertained? What about clothing? What about the fact that I will only eat a chicken, a pig or a cow and those aren't likely to be found on a deserted island? Oh holy crap, I hate this game. I quit. Take me home.

And I am supposed to tag some people but I don't wanna. This game didn't make me smile like I thought it would. Grr!!

Lessons from the high school crowd...

I may need to check my birth certificate but I am pretty sure that I was born in September of 1980. Yeah. I am sure that was the year. And if that was, in fact, the year my mother labored for hours to bring me into this world, that would mean that today, as I sit here typing, I am 28 years old. Correct?

Yeah, that is what I thought.

What does that mean? Well, that means that in the eyes of the law, I am an adult. I can legally purchase alcohol, go to war, gamble, enter into a contracual agreement, etc. In the eyes of society, it means that I am old enough to know better but still young enough to engage in some frivilous fun on occasion. I can wear clothes that are cute or a little edgy because I am technically still in my 20's. Right?

So where in that 28 year old world does the High School Drama fit in?

The answer, my friends, is nowhere.

I have had my share of drama. I have, as recently as two years ago, lost a massive group of great friends to said drama. Drama I brought about, actually. And therein lies the point. My priorities have been put in order (finally) and the path that is set before me calls for one thing...me to behave like an adult.

And that is what I shall do.

I will not tolerate drama. I will not engage in drama. I will not be a part of drama. I have had my fill.

That is, of course, not to say that I won't occasionally gossip (as everyone loves a good piece of gossip). Nor does that mean that I won't get sucked in from time to time but as soon as I realize that I have been sucked into that never-a-good-ending vortex, I will bail. Me, myself and I can't handle YOUR drama.

I am trying to do the right thing, folks. I am trying to stay out of trouble and I am trying to walk the line that's straight and narrow. I don't want to fall off this tightrope...again...so I am doing all that is humanly possible to keep my balance. And because of that, I need to get this off my chest...

I get that this is a difficult situation. I get that I am friends with both of you. I get that you need to talk and you feel comfortable with me. I am okay with all of that.

All that I ask of you, is that you act like a fricking adult instead of a teenager needing attention and I would prefer it if you would keep my daughter out of your dramatic interpretation of life! She is fucking 6 years old and does not yet need to learn the lessons you are forcing me to teach her because believe you me, I am teaching her lessons from this.

She is being taught that it is not necessary to choose between two friends that subsequently hate each other. You can be friends with whoever you want to be friends with. You can invite anyone you want to your birthday parties because if they can't suck it up and get along out of love and respect for you, they can see themselves to the door.

She is being taught that just because your friends are doing something does not mean you have to go along with it. When a friend is bad mouthing someone, it is okay to say "I don't agree" and walk away. Friends like that aren't worth the time and hassle.

She is being taught that people deserve second chances in life...and sometimes third and fourth and fifth...because life is about the relationships we have and the memories we make and holding a grudge and hatred inside is not a healthy way to live.

She is learning that she can make her own choices and do her own thing regardless of others thoughts and feelings on the matter. And she is learning it because of yours and your daughters actions. So I suppose thanks are in order. I may not have wanted to teach her those lessons as part of her first grade curriculum but they are valuable all the same.

As for me? Go right ahead and continue to put me in the middle as you both know exactly where I stand. I will not do anything to alienate either of you because, like my precious little girl, I know that I don't have to choose. I am an adult. But please know that I do have my limits.

I won't tolerate random snarky text messages and voice mails--I will ignore they ever happened. I won't pretend not to know things that I do know. I will not engage in the bad mouthing, however, I will stand there and listen because you entertain me. I will form my own opinion on every matter at hand despite what yours happens to be. I don't take what you say to me and use it as a conversation starter to the other person. We all happen to be linked via the school's counselors and if I feel that something I have witnessed affects us all, I will be the first to tell you in the interest of looking out for your children who I adore.

And anytime you want to tell me how utterly adorable my daughter is and how absolutely fabulous her momma is...please feel free. Because we all know that the two of us are RockStars!!! :) As witnessed by this outfit we put together for school this morning...

Awww! An orange sleeveless floral dress over a pair of dark jeans and accompianed by short sleeved jacket for added warmth (since it was only about 40 degrees here today) and worn with her jack-o-lantern Halloween socks (the only clean ones!) and her usual brown Airwalk kicks. Eat your heart out Hannah Montana! Teensy is the Rock Star now!

I got a new layout and all you get is...

Today you get bullets! Fun for you!

• I was tired of my eyes screaming at me everytime I opened my blog so I changed the layout. It took me many hours to get it at all the way I wanted it and I still might not be happy.


• Miss Insanity has come up with the perfect murder weapon...an icicle. Yep. Genius, right? Except that now I told her secret so everyone will be looking at her as the suspect in the stabbing murder of someone's mom! It seems like she isn't the first to think this up though! Miss Insanity...you should read this book for ideas!
• I tried my hand at from scratch layouts today and with her ideas came up with a new layout for Lady K. Hop over and check it out and let her know how much you love it!


• I have a conference with both of my kids' counselors tonight. We are going to discuss their progress in the grieving department and see what else we can do. I'm nervous as heck about what they are going to say. I just don't want to cry.


• Teensy has sold 160 boxes of Girl Scout cookies. Her goal is 200. She hasn't sold to immediate family yet and we now have two definite cookie shops set up so I think she'll make her goal.
• I have actually had things to do at work and multi-tasking has been fun this week. Wish it could be this way always.


• I was home all day on tuesday with a deadly migraine headache which meant a four day week at work. I think all weeks should be four day-ers.


• I wasn't able to attend a Lia Sophia jewelry party held by one of the other daycare moms so I browsed through the catalog and bought this beautiful piece of jewelry for way more than what I intended to spend!
• I am not the only one in my immediate surroundings that has a touch of OCD! From restacking hamburgers if they are done wrong to counting steps, the people around me are just as wacky as I am!!! I now feel normal...in an abnormal way. :)
• I signed up for a Community Education Class on Creative writing. And i am a little scared about that. I've never taken a writing class before and I don't know if I will be any good.

And that is about it for today. I know I haven't posted all week but my brain just isn't thinking in terms of creative blog posts. So deal.

Bolting thru the weekend...

Wanna know what I did for Valentine's Day?

I went out.

Yep. Surprising, ain't it?

Nah. Really, Dear Hubby and I took the kids to see a movie. The movie "Bolt" to be exact. At the cheap theater. Score! And you know what? It was amazing! Double Score!

It's a really adorable movie about a dog named Bolt (voiced by John Travolta--which is good because his voice is still good but who cares to look at him anymore? Ugh!) who is a the star of a hit tv show (think double-oh-seven type) and he has some wicked super powers (like a Super Bark!) but he doesn't know that he's on tv. He thinks that he has super powers in real life. He goes on a cross-country adventure in search of his "person", Penny (voiced by Miley Cyrus, again, great that she's animated because we are just tired of looking at her!) to save her from the evil "Green Eye Man" and the result is some funny stuff that is family friendly and an all around good time.

Do you see that cat? Her name is Mittens...and she's a little homely. The hamster in the ball? Yeah, he's Rhino...and he's funnier than shit! Love that little guy!

Check it out! we will be buying it on DVD as soon as it comes out because I just can't get enough! Even the stale popcorn and movie theater full of small talking children was worth the hassle for this movie!

((And that is all of a Valentine's Day recap as you are going to get because what happened after the movie was horrific and not at all worth writing about. Today, anyway. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not. Let's just say that the movies this weekend were the best part and leave it at that!))