Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Lessons from the high school crowd...

I may need to check my birth certificate but I am pretty sure that I was born in September of 1980. Yeah. I am sure that was the year. And if that was, in fact, the year my mother labored for hours to bring me into this world, that would mean that today, as I sit here typing, I am 28 years old. Correct?

Yeah, that is what I thought.

What does that mean? Well, that means that in the eyes of the law, I am an adult. I can legally purchase alcohol, go to war, gamble, enter into a contracual agreement, etc. In the eyes of society, it means that I am old enough to know better but still young enough to engage in some frivilous fun on occasion. I can wear clothes that are cute or a little edgy because I am technically still in my 20's. Right?

So where in that 28 year old world does the High School Drama fit in?

The answer, my friends, is nowhere.

I have had my share of drama. I have, as recently as two years ago, lost a massive group of great friends to said drama. Drama I brought about, actually. And therein lies the point. My priorities have been put in order (finally) and the path that is set before me calls for one to behave like an adult.

And that is what I shall do.

I will not tolerate drama. I will not engage in drama. I will not be a part of drama. I have had my fill.

That is, of course, not to say that I won't occasionally gossip (as everyone loves a good piece of gossip). Nor does that mean that I won't get sucked in from time to time but as soon as I realize that I have been sucked into that never-a-good-ending vortex, I will bail. Me, myself and I can't handle YOUR drama.

I am trying to do the right thing, folks. I am trying to stay out of trouble and I am trying to walk the line that's straight and narrow. I don't want to fall off this I am doing all that is humanly possible to keep my balance. And because of that, I need to get this off my chest...

I get that this is a difficult situation. I get that I am friends with both of you. I get that you need to talk and you feel comfortable with me. I am okay with all of that.

All that I ask of you, is that you act like a fricking adult instead of a teenager needing attention and I would prefer it if you would keep my daughter out of your dramatic interpretation of life! She is fucking 6 years old and does not yet need to learn the lessons you are forcing me to teach her because believe you me, I am teaching her lessons from this.

She is being taught that it is not necessary to choose between two friends that subsequently hate each other. You can be friends with whoever you want to be friends with. You can invite anyone you want to your birthday parties because if they can't suck it up and get along out of love and respect for you, they can see themselves to the door.

She is being taught that just because your friends are doing something does not mean you have to go along with it. When a friend is bad mouthing someone, it is okay to say "I don't agree" and walk away. Friends like that aren't worth the time and hassle.

She is being taught that people deserve second chances in life...and sometimes third and fourth and fifth...because life is about the relationships we have and the memories we make and holding a grudge and hatred inside is not a healthy way to live.

She is learning that she can make her own choices and do her own thing regardless of others thoughts and feelings on the matter. And she is learning it because of yours and your daughters actions. So I suppose thanks are in order. I may not have wanted to teach her those lessons as part of her first grade curriculum but they are valuable all the same.

As for me? Go right ahead and continue to put me in the middle as you both know exactly where I stand. I will not do anything to alienate either of you because, like my precious little girl, I know that I don't have to choose. I am an adult. But please know that I do have my limits.

I won't tolerate random snarky text messages and voice mails--I will ignore they ever happened. I won't pretend not to know things that I do know. I will not engage in the bad mouthing, however, I will stand there and listen because you entertain me. I will form my own opinion on every matter at hand despite what yours happens to be. I don't take what you say to me and use it as a conversation starter to the other person. We all happen to be linked via the school's counselors and if I feel that something I have witnessed affects us all, I will be the first to tell you in the interest of looking out for your children who I adore.

And anytime you want to tell me how utterly adorable my daughter is and how absolutely fabulous her momma is...please feel free. Because we all know that the two of us are RockStars!!! :) As witnessed by this outfit we put together for school this morning...

Awww! An orange sleeveless floral dress over a pair of dark jeans and accompianed by short sleeved jacket for added warmth (since it was only about 40 degrees here today) and worn with her jack-o-lantern Halloween socks (the only clean ones!) and her usual brown Airwalk kicks. Eat your heart out Hannah Montana! Teensy is the Rock Star now!


The Real Life Fairy Tale Princess said...

Only a few months older than you, I totally HATE drama!! I too refuse to let other people's drama mess with my life. Like we don't have more important things to worry about (like making up lies about how close to 30 we really are and plotting excuses to wear those oh so cute clothes we found on sale!). But, I can't help but be entertained by the way other's get involved in drama.

That being said, here is my philosophy on drama:

I will NOT bring drama into the lives of others. I will NOT allow the drama of others to upset my life. HOWEVER, if you cannot act like a mature adult, and INSIST on dropping your bag of flaming drama on my step... be prepared. Because I have absolutely NO PROBLEM messing with your head for my own amusement (unfortunately, that sometimes leads to drama). But I figure if you're dumb enough to try and mess with me... you deserve a few ruffled feathers. I'll still sleep well.

I never was any good at turning the other cheek!

Faiqa said...

I know exactly what you mean. These days, I simply don't have the energy for drama. At the slightest hint... I run. In terms of second chances, I do believe in them, but the person has to have seriously redeeming qualities (like, say, having given birth to me - ha ha). When someone shows me who they are, though, I tend to believe them. A person addicted to dram is always going to be addicted to drama.

J... said...

Princess...Well, I am glad that not everyone our age is a drama queen!

Faiqa...I seem to give second chances easily because I have needed several of them in my own life. But I understand your position, too. However, there is nothing that a 6-year-old can do that would warrant a "no second chances" policy.