A holiday inside a holiday...

OMG! OMG! OMG!

You are so totally not going to guess how many posts I have done!!!  Oh, you know?  Oh really?  How many then?  Did you say 100?  Oh.  Well. 

YOU'RE RIGHT!

This is my 100th post on this blog!  Really!  Can you believe it?  No?  Me neither!

And the coolest part is that this...my 100th post...is falling on none other than...

HALLOWEEN!!!

How fun is that?  I will always remember the day I wrote my 100th post because it fell on a holiday!  Woot, woot!

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So, what can I do to make this...my 100th post...more fun?  How about talk about the fact that it is Halloween?  Yeah?  Okay.  :)

 

The Haunted House last night was solidly okay.  I didn't scream.  I yelled.  I cussed (a lot).  I just about threw my hands up and said "I'm done!" (which is what they tell you to do if it gets to be too much for you) when the monster that jumped out of a closed door pointed in the direction of a small opening in a fireplace instructing us to crawl through.  Um yeah.  I don't think so.  I looked at him and said "no".  He looked at me and nodded his bony skull.  I stared at him in disbelief and tried to remember what I was supposed to do to just get out.  Then, I was pulled in the direction of the fireplace and shoved through the opening at which time the air stopped making it through to my lungs.  I'm a bit claustrophobic, you see, and the thought of crawling through anything in a Haunted House makes my throat close up and my eyes bug out of my head.  Um, yeah.  There is something about not being able to crawl as fast as I can run that just freaks the shit out of me!  Yikes! 

But, I made it.  And that happened to be the very last room.  And I walked out a bit disappointed that it was over.  But I didn't pee my pants. 

All in all, it was a good experience.  Oh...and we scared the crap out of some teenaged girls in front of and behind us so that was fun!  :)

Lady K and I--We don't look scared...but this is the before picture!

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The kids are ready for Halloween tonight.  Here is what their costumes will look like...

 

                (Teensy as Ariel and me as a Pirate at the Girl Scout Party on Tuesday)

 

                           (Dear Hubby as Frankenstein and Bubba as the Grim Reaper

at the Boy Scout party on Monday.)

 Okay, well, time to get back to the daily grind.  Hope everyone has a

         Happy Halloween!

Ghosts and Witches and Pee Pants...oh my!

There are two things that prominently come up around Halloween in my house...and they both get brought up by my kids any time they hear the words PUMPKIN or HAUNTED HOUSE.

Number 1:  PUMPKIN

While standing outside the elementary school building yesterday with Insanity (my daycare provider), waiting for all seven kids to exit the building (I play the role of chauffeur every Wednesday because Insanity herself doesn't have enough room nor enough seat belts to haul around all of those kids), I mention that our plans for that evening will include carving pumpkins.  Bubba, who up until this point gave no indication that he was listening to our conversation, piped up with this comment:

"Mom's allergic to pumpkins!"

Yes, folks, I have an allergic reaction to pumpkins...sort of.  A few years ago, I developed a rash on my arms immediately after scraping the guts out of a pumpkin for Halloween.  It was red and a bit itchy but nothing extremely painful or horrible to deal with.  It only occurs when I stick my hand inside a pumpkin and never when I eat the said vegetable.  Just a skin irritation, really, and it is no big deal...

...but ever since then, my children have told everyone who mentions a pumpkin in their presence that their mommy is allergic to pumpkins. 

Wanna see the pumpkins we carved?  Of course you do!!!  Ta Da!!!

That is a skull and cross-bones (or bonehead in my household), a kitty cat, and a scary guy with Bubba's name carved into it.  We originally had four pumpkins (note the one in the background) but when we carved out the top to begin the process of de-gutting it, this is what we found...

This picture does not do justice to the absolute grossness that was inside this pumpkin.  It was rotten through and through, complete with mold!  Yuck, yuck, yuck!  Needless to say, we were short one pumpkin so I kindly sacrificed my creative abilities for those of my more jack-o-lantern loving family members. 

Number 2:  HAUNTED HOUSE

I am not a lover of being scared.  I don't enjoy scary movies (I usually avoid anything that is rated R for any reason other than nudity or sex scenes).  The paranormal creeps me out something fierce, i.e. I am terrified of ghosts!  I do, however, love to watch tv shows that are a bit freaky (such as Fringe and Supernatural) as long as I have my hubby there to save me and I can watch something "light" right afterwards to wipe it from my mind.  ((I am a mess of contradictions!))

With that said, I also must tell you that I go to the local huge Haunted House just about every year.  Usually it's because my hubby wants to go, sometimes it's because a group of friends get together and I am always up for a group activity, but really it's a little bit about me wanting to conquer something that really terrifies me. 

Walking into a Haunted House, I always am assured that no one will touch me if I don't touch them.  I KNOW that I will come out of there alive and unscathed and still I am freaked out beyond belief.  Shaking and terrified.  Heart pounding out of my chest, gripping onto someone, anyone, for dear life.   

That is what I think of when I hear the words HAUNTED HOUSE. 

My kids...they think of pee pants...and mention it as often as they can.  Here is why...

It was pitch black.  One hand was gripped tightly to the hand of the man in front, the other to the coat sleeve of the one behind.  Terrified beyond the point of being able to scream,  eyes closed tight, breaths coming in short gasps and squeezing down a very narrow hallway with shoulders dragging along each wall, the lungs began to shut down as the claustrophobia set in.  And then...salvation.  An opening.  The walls fell away to a wide open room.  The air rushed back into the lungs and filled them with the sweet sense of refreshment, freedom.  The terror was over.  My grip relaxed and I sighed with relief.

HHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKK!

Bright headlights lit up the room.  The horn blared.  The semi truck came speeding at me.  A scream escaped my lips as my knees gave out and I found myself curled into the fetal position upon the floor and then it happened...

...I wet myself.

Yes, folks.  I did.  I wet my pants in pure terror of being run over by an eighteen wheeler.  Maybe it was because of the monsters and killers lurking around every corner of the haunted house.  Maybe it was because I had forgotten to use the port-a-john before entering.  Maybe it was because my abusive step-dad drove truck and this particular incident brought those terrible feelings right back to the surface.  Whatever the reason, I peed my pants right there on the floor of the Haunted House...

...and that is what my kids remind me of every time a Haunted House gets mentioned.

"I remember when you peed your pants at the Haunted House, Mommy.  Do you?"

"Yes, darling.  BUT YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE!!!!!"

Conversation amongst Leaders...

"I don't like kids."

GASP!

"Then why the hell are you a Girl Scout Leader?"

"To try and get parents more involved in the lives of their kids.  You are here to teach the kids.  I'm here to teach the adults."

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You know those parents that drop off their child at the school and make them run across the street nearly getting hit by a slowly passing car just because they are too lazy or in too much of a hurry to find a parking spot?

How about those that enroll their child in an extracurricular activity just so that they can have a "babysitter" and alone time?  Yeah, I am talking about the ones who roll on by as they push the kid out the car door with their soccer bag or their dance gear instead of walking the child into the building.

Those parents who know full well that they are supposed to sign the child in but can't be bothered enough to put pen to paper?

Those parents that don't care enough to look through the backpack, sign the permission slips, or pay attention to when it is their child's turn to bring in snacks?

Yep, those.  They drive me nuts.  I want the parents of my Girls Scouts to take an active role of participation in their daughters lives and activities.  I want all parents to take an active role in their children's lives....in a perfect world.

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DISCLAIMER:  I am not now, nor have I ever been a perfect parent.  I have been known to miss, truth be told, sending items for several show and tell days.  There are days when the kid's homework just doesn't get accomplished until the next morning at the breakfast table because we were not home to do it the night before.  I work full-time, as does my husband and we are tired when we arrive home, so our kids don't always get a balanced, nutritious meal for dinner.  But I try. 

I volunteer at their schools for class parties when I am able.  I drop them off at the curb in front of their building at school maintaining their independence as well as their safety.  I instill the love of reading in both of my children by setting a good example and I go through their backpacks every night in an effort to understand what they are doing in school.  I pay attention...and that is what I wish other parents did as well. 

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I am not a fan of immature behavior.  I hate petty little antics and people who do not know when to take life seriously.  That is why I am not fond of children.  They are loud, they are nosey and they are messy (mine included).  Children are chaos personified.  I prefer to live without chaos, but...

...when those girls come running up to me on the playground at school or in the grocery store and throw their arms around my waist, I melt.

So, I guess, I am in it for the girls.  I am a Girl Scout Leader to be a good role model to these girls...and they in turn make me a better person. 

Jump Starting a life...on List Making Tuesday...

It's the dead of winter.  A cold and stormy day.  The wind is whipping the bare branches of the trees so hard you fear they may snap.  Unfortunately,  you have to go somewhere.  You bundle yourself up in your heaviest coat, boot , wool hat and mittens (all black to reflect your depressed mood brought on by months of cold darkness ) and wade your way through the twelve inches of snow to reach you lonely, frozen car.  You yank hard on the driver's door in an effort to get it open and plop down on the seat.  Un-gloving your hand, you slide the small silver key into the ignition and turn.  You get nothing.  No noise, no sign of life, nothing.  It doesn't even try.  What now?  You need a jump start...and that will require a kind soul to help you out.

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So what do you do when that scenario is real?  Not real as in you can't start  you car but real as in you can't seem to start your life.  Major changes have come about and you just can't seem to get a hold on anything that will pull you out of the depths of the depression you are in.  You seek the advice of a friend.  A kind soul to help you out. 

Ta Da!  Here I am!

My ideal life is bouncing from one thing to the next.  Does that make me flighty?  Maybe.  But, the thing is that I know that life is about the little things, the experiences that we have.  You will not die remembering how many nights you spent watching tv.  You will not die remembering the name of every book you read.  You may not make a huge impact in the world in terms of wealth or popularity.  You may not become the worlds greatest humanitarian.  But you will remember the experiences.

So, I say BOUNCE!  Bounce form one thing to the next and rack up as many experiences as you can.  Make your life memorable even if it's not perfect.  Make it worth it, even if it isn't easy.  Live your life...and do your best to enjoy every minute of it.

IDEAS TO JUMP START YOUR LIFE...

• Get a part-time job at a place you never would have thought to work...a pet store, a fast food restaurant, a kennel, a grocery store...don't be afraid to quit if it is too much for you to handle.
• Write a book...about anything.  Parenting, lifestyle differences, self-help, fictional, children's.  Just write what you know.  Write your legacy, your life story...for your child.
• Paint a picture (like one you said you would do for a friend!).  Put everything you have into creating something amazing that can be cherished by someone.
• Take a class.  Any kind of class...educational, art, hobby, classes offered online, at a craft store or through community education.  Just learn something and it could open doors you never knew existed.
• Meet someone new.  Anyone.  Male, female, elderly or child.  Introduce yourself to someone you don't know and strike up a conversation.  You never know what kind of friendship it could become. 
• Create a work of art.  A sculpture, an afghan, a song.  Make something beautiful and then share  it with someone unexpected.
• Start a new business venture.  Get hands on and come up with a plan of attack and just go for it. 
• Take a trip.  Explore your surroundings.  Experience the world you have at your fingertips.
• Visit an old friend...one you haven't seen or heard from in a while.  Make a date and enjoy that person's company.  Talk, listen, laugh, cry and remember.
• Volunteer somewhere...a woman's shelter, a dog pound, the local Boy/Girl Scout office.  Count your blessings as you help others learn and grow and you see those less fortunate than yourself.

Don't cite money as an issue.  Don't cite time.  you can do these things if you want to.  "Don't bitch about something that you won't work to change."  Just Bounce...from one thing to the next until you have experienced more than your fair share in this life.  Just enjoy those moments that you have for you are way more fortunate than many of those around you.

After all, you have the awesomeness that is me on your side.  :)

Teenaged Striped Stupidity...

So remember a few posts back, I told you that I never did anything stupid when I was younger?  Well that's not entirely true.  However, I have not once gotten caught by the police nor have I done anything that warrants actually being arrested in my lifetime.  ((I did get put in handcuffs once, but that was just for fun at a friend's party a few years ago.  You can just dream up your own stories behind that one.))

I thought long and hard about whether not I have ever egged someone's house and came to the conclusion that I have not.  

Remember these?  Yeah, me too.  They used to line the front walks of ever middle class American home because everyone shopped at the same place...Wally World!  I used to drive around, or walk around if we were too poor for gas money when I was in high school...probably my  junior year (yeah I should have grown out of the stupidity by then but lived an extremely sheltered life for the years prior to that and needed to get it out of my system).  My friends and I would take these candy canes from people's yards and "misplace" them in someone else's Christmas yard-scape.  Occasionally, we would leave them on doorsteps a few blocks away.  Technically it was theft, but I like to look at it as "misplacement of goods".  Sounds less stupid and more sophisticated that way.  Although, I know now that I was a moron and no better than my nephew.  The difference?  I never got caught by the cops...or my mom!

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You want more teenaged stupidity?  The same year that we performed the "Candy Cane Capers", you could have also caught us traipsing around town on Halloween wearing black lipstick "kiss" prints on our foreheads as part of our costumes.  What were we?  Teenagers...too old to Trick-or-Treat in costumes but too young to stay home and hand out candy.  :)

Yep, we were cool!!!  What teenaged mishaps do you have in your past?