Thursday, December 11, 2008

Ever seen a tree's top fall off? You soon will!

The moronic wonderful music teacher decided to do the first and second grade Christmas Programs on the same night this year. And she decided to bore us to death grace those of us with a kid in each grade two of the exact same programs! Yippee!

The evening started out with a mad dash to the daycare at 4:30 to pick up the kids. Miss Insanity's kids are in first grade with Teensy so she was closing early so that she could be to the theater in time for the program. I got the kids loaded into the van and sped down the road (which was starting to get icy!) to the local Pizza Hut to pick up the three personal pans that I had ordered before leaving work. The concert was to start at 6:00 with the first graders needing to be there half hour early to get in costume. There are probably 100 kids in each grade and about 300 seats in the theater. It is not uncommon around here for one's whole family to come watch them in a program (siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, cousins, unlce Ted that always asks you to pull his finger) so I wanted to get a good seat early.

I pulled the van up to the CarryOut window and told them my name. Our pizza had four minutes to go before it was completely cooked so I made small talk with the kids mentioning what kind of pizzas I had ordered for them. Doofus that I apperantly am, I ordered the wrong pizza for the Bubba Boy. He wanted Hawaiian not the Supreme. Strike 1 against the evening! We got our pizzas and made our way over the slick roads to the community center to save our seats in the theater.

I set the kids up at a table with their pizzas, proceded to buy them overpriced pops at the concession stand and then went into the theater and threw our coats and their backpacks onto the seats I thought would be the best in the house. Of course, Bubba would be performing on stage left and teensy on stage right so we had to sit in the middle and hope for the best view of each.

I went back out to scarf down my pizza with the kids and Bubba informed me that he lost his shirt that was needed for the program. WHAT? DAMMIT! We, as parents, were instructed to make sure our children had the correct outfits to go under their costumes. Teensy needed a red or a green outfit. Bubba needed a long sleeved black shirt and pants. I purchased Teensy's whole outfit and the shirt for Bubba the week before the program and had them hanging in the closets so that they would be clean when the time came. Losing his shirt was not a good development! Strike 2 against my evening. Bubba then calmly informed me that even though he had lost his brand new shirt, he had one to wear for the program. The music teacher had found one for him to wear (Great! The body odor and germy germs of some other sniffling kid!). I calmed down a bit and we continued on with our pizza.

As soon as Bubba was done with his food, I asked him to get into his outfit so that he would be ready when the time came. He said it was in his backpack bu lo and behold when I opened it there was nothing there! After frantic calls to Miss Insanity to check her daycare house and her Suburban, I resigned myself to the fact that his outfit was left at school. ARGH! Strike 3 of the evening! I immediately called Dear Hubby and told him of the situation (almost in tears as I am that kind of person) who got off work early and rushed home to see what he could find in the dirty clothes pile house. Once again, I calmed down a little. (Please ignore the fact that I am wound a little tight sometimes and the fact the slightest hiccup in my schedule can sometimes make me cry!)

All in all, the crises was averted when Hubby showed up 15 minutes before the program started with a faded black sweatshirt and a pair of black slacks! Whew! At least he wouldn't look like too much of a dork up there on stage and we wouldn't have to smell him down in the audience so all was well. And my mom showed up two minutes before the program started and was able to get her seat before the lights were turned down! Yay! Another good thing!

Teensy's program started at 6 pm and she was an elf this year. An adorable one at that. She enjoyed the program immensely as she likes to sing and dance and she is so adorable that people are soooo going to love her up there. She was wonderful! She is the little girl in red in between the boy in white (Miss Insanity's son) and the boy next to Santa (the infamous Trevor of Mom Hotness Fame!).

Bubba's program started at 7:30 and he was a tree. I learned last year at about this time that my son may be meant for the stage...but only as a comedian. This year he proved my theory correct. The video I wanted to upload was too big so you get this one instead. Bubba is one the right hand side in the trees and is the one that seems to have springs on his feet and an issue with his mouth staying closed.

One way or another, it was an entertaining night. And even though I sat in that theater from 5 pm until almost 9 pm with only about 2 hours of that actually watching children perform, it was well worth it to sit in the audience and and ooh and aah and my daughter's cuteness and then almost pee myself with laughter at the antics of my son.

Outfits for the children to wear: $20
Dine and Dash at Pizza Hut: $15
Time spent in the theater: 4 hours
Having videos like this to show my children's future spouses: PRICELESS!

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