Okay. Here's the thing peoples of the internet. I blog because I want to. I want to write down what I think and feel and need. Me. Selfish, isn't it? I guess so. But really, I do not care. If you, dear internet readers, want to read what I have to say, for whatever reason, you come here and you do just that. There are those of you that lurk in the background and hope that I don't see you there, those of you who know me personally and speak with me about my blog in the real world instead of leaving comments, and those of you that read, enjoy and comment on occasion. My point is that you are all here to read what I have to say. Right?
Disclosure: I am not an English major. I speak in partial sentences, occasionally spell things wrong, and have a tendency to cuss and use slang...a lot. But I still try to come across as lucid as possible so that you can all understand where I am coming from. It seems that I have failed on that account. I apologize. There has been a misinterpretation to one of my blogs and I recieved this comment...
First of all, the only true source of everlasting love is God. Second of all, there is no 'step by step' guide to getting over grief - it is an unpredicatable thing that is unique to each person. You'll just have to come to grips with both of those facts.
November 15, 2008 11:14 PM
So, let me make a few things clear.
One, there was no reason what-so-ever to add religious commentary to that blog post. It was completely unwarranted. I DO NOT force my religion or lack thereof on anyone. I respect you and your beliefs no matter what they are. I am a rather free thinker in terms of religion and I believe what I believe. YOU will not be able to change that. People of the blogoshpere, you can tell me that you will pray for me or say God bless anytime you want but DO NOT try to convert me to whatever notions you believe to be true. I may or may not believe in the same things. You respect me and I will respect you. Also, if you go back and read that blog entry, you will see that when I was referring to everlasting love it was not for a person. I am not looking for love in my life. I have it. I was referring to gaining love FOR MYSELF! That is something that few people can really say they have...everlasting, complete love for the person they are. I am no saint. I have made my mistakes and I will readily admit and own up to them if the conversation heads that way. I am working towards loving every little nuance of myself and not hating myself for things I have done in the past. That is my business, not yours.
Two, dear commenter, you are right that grief is unique to each person. The way and the length of time in which I grieve will be different than it is for you. I understand that there isn't a step-by-step guide to getting over the loss of my Mother-in-Law but that doesn't mean that I must stop wishing there were one or glancing over titles in the self help section trying to find one that will help me along the way. My way of dealing with the grief is to put one foot in front of the other every single day, to continue walking, and to blog and/or journal about my feelings in an effort to understand myself and my feelings more completely. That is my way. You can deal with loss however you so choose. Again, you respect my ways and I will respect yours. It's called being an adult.
Third, and finally, it's interesting to me that you hide behind the Anonymous comment. If you have an opinion, speak it. I would love to hear your take on my situation. I thrive on the advice and experiences of others because I use that to help me find my way. I will listen to what you have to say and I will draw my own conclusions based upon how your advice and experiences will fit in with my own life. I will not, however, take very kindly to thinly veiled attempts to force your opinions on me. I am very open to dialouge about ANY topic...if you are open and honest about who you are. This is a public blog and you are more than welcome to read but have the courtesy to not judge and negate me in the comments section. If you feel the need to call me out on something, please leave your name so that I can respond without having to take up an entire blog entry to do so.
And of course, the finale...
You, my dear, are the one that needs to come to grips with two facts. One, I DO NOT believe in your religion and no matter how much you try to force it upon me, I will not change my mind. And two, I will grieve in whatever way I see fit. I do not plan to allow my grief to become a lifelong mourning that affects every decision I ever make. Life will go on and although I will miss her terribly, I will not allow Mom's death to taint my entire existance. She wouldn't want it that way.