Things that twerk me off...

I have been working on this list since Friday.  Last week was just dreadful and by the time Friday had come along, I was ready to be done so I started this list.  Lists make me feel better.  They make me feel more organized and put my mind at ease.  I could not live without lists.  In honor of the fact that last week (and the beginning of this one) were sucking my very large (yet very cute) tuchus, here is my list of things that twerk me off...

1)  Having fingers that are so cold, it is hard to type.

2)  Cold, plastic toilet seats that send chills up my spine every time I sit my lovely ass upon it. 

3)  When my lovely daughter forgets her jacket on the chair by the front door at home and then starts complaining about being cold and asks me if I am going to go home and get it for her and I have to say no because a) I still have to drop off her brother,  and b) she needs to learn to be responsible for her own belongings.

4)  When my co-workers use the coffee cups that I specifically brought from home for myself to use.  I don't want their germy germs on my cups!

5)  Cleaning toilets that are not in my own home and therefore have been sat upon by complete strangers with who knows what kind of nasty habits.

6)  Gossipy people that only ask about the details your life so that they can spin it and have something to talk about with their friends. 

7)  When someone stands practically on top of me to look over my shoulder at something I am doing, typing or writing.

8)  When that someone has breath that reeks of onions or some other nasty ass thing they ate during their last meal.

9)  When plans change at the very last possible moment and I have no time to prepare myself mentally for what is to come. 

10)  People that judge my life based upon the boring ass life they themselves live...especially when that person hold secrets within themselves and are not as boring as they make themselves out to be.