If the firework says “read additional instructions on launch tube”, it is quite likely that you should not haphazardly light said firework in close vicinity to your children, your spouse and your van.
However, if you do happen to light said firework around said objects and people, please be ready to run like hell when said firework starts to shoot actual fire.
But if you are the person sitting inside the safety of the van, be sure to relentlessly tease, taunt and torture the moron who lit the firework found at THE DUMP in the first place about the terrified look on his face when said firework ended up being one that should have been launched into the sky and not one lit on the ground because said firework was in THE DUMP for a reason, as witnessed by the fact that the fuse was a dud and therefore had to be lit right close tot he explosion point.
And that, folks, is our 4th of July lesson for today.
Please be careful with those fireworks. :)
No one was hurt in the acts of stupidity above. It was actually quite funny and we all got one hell of a laugh out of the ordeal.