Thursday, February 5, 2009

Merry Christmas...Are You Dead Yet?

I have a confession to make.

It's kind of a big one.

One that I am worried will skew your view of me forever.

I am a great gift giver (that is not my confession. "Wait for it..." Oh, wow! I never remember lines to movies and the like! I can't believe I remembered that one! Sweet! Wish I could remember which movie it came from! Oops...wander much?). Back on track. This last Christmas I was rather slack in the ideas section of my gift giving. Most likely due to the fact that Christmas didn't feel like Christmas without the home and family bit and therefore I was lacking any of the usual excitement and wonder behind the season to catapult my gift giving abilities to the super-stardom level. In fact, I just kinda stayed on the ground with the normal folk that never know what to buy.

Until one day, I was walking through the local Sam's Club and saw the absolute perfect present for my best friend, Lady K. You see, she is a food lover. And I don't mean that in just a normal "she likes to eat" kind of way. I mean that she has been known to have food orgasms (even multiple in one sitting) when she's eating something especially tasty. Food is her weakness. But she is a picky eater, too. Nothing American is going to fly at her table. the regular fare of pizza and hamburgers does not tempt her palate in the slightest. She prefers foreign delicacies on her plate.

Like Baklava.

And that, my friends is what I found in Sam's Club that day. The gift-giving heavens opened and smiled upon me as I realized that packaging was horrendous but the price was spot on, and therefore I could put my own little spin on the repackaging of it and make it my own masterpiece. Yay! I had done it yet again!

So that is what I did. I put the Baklava into a cute little tin and gave it to my bestest friend with all the love I could muster. It was beautiful. She loved it. *sigh* She coveted it. *sigh* She shared it with all who entered her house that she deemed worthy of a taste of the best gift ever. *double sigh*

So, why do I tell you this story now? Over a month after I gave such a wonderful gift?

This week, I got a letter in the mailbox that stated the following...

"This letter is to inform you that we have learned today that, RAIN CREEK BAKING CORPORATION in cooperation with the FDA has initiated a Recall of its BAKLAVA ASSORTMENT due to potential contamination of Salmonella.

Our records reflect that you purchased the BAKLAVA ASSORTMENT with a UPC 0003810520213. We request that you review your inventory records and segregate and return the item to your local Sam's Club for a full refund. If you have sold or shipped any of this product, we request that you contact your customers and notify them of the recall. "

Merry Christmas, Lady K. I tried to kill you.

What did you say you wanted for your birthday?

Oh and do you think you could return what you haven't already scarfed down in a moment of weakness pawned off on someone else eaten so I can get my money back? What's that? No. Wait just a minute. I am NOT a greedy little...oh, well, yeah. I guess I kinda am. Forget I asked.


The Queen said...

OMG.. *peed...

what a gift... hey.. I want nothing for Christmas next year.. k?

Lady K said...

Segragate!! did you see that! They want us to segragate the poor little baklava :( sadness ...This concerns me more than the potential death I may be facing!