Friday, February 13, 2009

Loving me is easy 'cuz I'm beautiful...

Snackie has declared this day as "Self-Love Day 2009" and I, for one, am excited at the prospect of thinking about myself again for once. :)

As you can tell from the previous posts, Valentine's Day is kind of a big deal in my world. But between the parties for the kids at school and at daycare that require both valentines and treats, the special "lovey's" for the kids, the picking out of the perfect card for Dear Hubby and sending some love to my special friends, I usually forget about the loving of myself. Me. The Queen of "Hearts and Flowers". I never do anything to love on me. So this year, Snackie has given me the idea and I will run far with it (beware of the heart shaped confetti sprinkling in my wake!).

These are her rules...
1.) Post a banner on your blog and declare February 14th as the day you not only love your one and only, but the day that you love yourself! (For those of you who need help, all you do is right-click over the image of your choice then click on “save as” and save it wherever you want.)
2.) Post one nice thing about yourself……then ask others to post one thing that they really like about you.
3.) Enjoy yourself!

Easy enough to follow, right?

So, the one thing that I am loving about me is that even in all of my anal obsessive-compulsiveness, I have bent when the wind blew hard and have not broken a single branch on this here tree. And that for me is huge.

In the past two years, I have been through every emotion known to man. From despair of losing a loved one to the immense joy of family togetherness. From fear of losing my marriage to feelings of complete acceptance. It's all been there. Happiness, sorrow, joy and anger. But somehow, I made it through. Me, the unwavering planner who hyperventilates at sudden changes. The woman that can break down into depression at a moments notice. I have fought off those assailants and kept myself out of the pits of despair.

How? By making a conscious decision to not allow the bad things to stop my life. By deciding that I would not only pull my ass up from the gutter but stand with my head held high and a look on my face challenging anyone to push me back down. I know that I have made mistakes. Big ones. I know that bad things have happened. Terrible things. But there are two ways for me to deal with it. I can either fail or I can flourish. I chose to flourish. I chose to continue to move forward with my life instead of staying stagnant in one place. And it was hard. And it hurt like hell at times. But I did it. I made it through to today by putting one foot in front of the other and feeling my way out of the darkness one step at a time.

And today, I stand sit before you and say type that I not only like myself, but I love myself. And if you don't, that is fine with me. If you don't like the choices I have made in my life, that is fine with me. If you don't agree with my stance on the issues, that is fine with me. If you don't like my actions or my words, that is fine with me, too. Because this is me. This is who I am. Everything that I have been through in life has brought to me to this place in time, this moment, and in this moment, I love the person that I am because of my faults and not despite them. I am living through this life and I am learning every step of the way and that...

...that is what I love about myself.

"Our greatest glory lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."

1 comment:

Hilly said...

How funny....I was going to say the same thing about you. You just keep going and going no matter what life has dealt you lately. I admire that in you.