She gave me her eye color, too…

Money is not an issue with me. 

I am not saying that I am rich.  I am not saying that I don’t have a need or a want for money.  I am saying that I don’t allow money to be an issue in my world. 

I never remember a time when I was growing up that I was in need of anything.  I remember using food stamps and later having to remember the pin for the EBT card when we were shopping.  I remember the  white box with black letting food that we got for free at the Food Pantry.  I remember paying something like 40 cents for lunch on the low income program.  I remember having Medicaid for insurance coverage and 7 of us living in a three bedroom apartment while mom worked two jobs to keep us afloat.

But through all of that I never felt poor.  I always had everything that I needed…shoes, a coat, money for school field trips and programs.  I was never lacking in anything that I remember.  My mom (and my older sister at times) took really good care of me and I never felt the crunch of being low income.  Which is how it should be.

Although my mom was great at providing everything that I needed, she wasn’t (and still isn’t) the best at managing her money.  And since children learn most everything from the examples and lessons of their parents, I grew up with the same money management skills that my mother possessed.

What exactly does that mean, that I am not good at managing money?  It doesn’t mean that I am in debt up to my eyeballs or that I am one of those people that purchased a house way above their actual means and are now sitting in fear of foreclosure.  It does mean that I am not all that careful about money.  I don’t have a retirement plan or a college fund in place for the future.  I don’t have a massive savings account filled with money for a just in case.  I do have a mortgage, an equity line and a couple of credit cards. 

My husbands money skills mirror my own in most ways.  He is a bit more conscious about what we spend and when especially if the costs of eating out everyday are piling up.  He is more likely than I to make a large purchase (think cars) without my knowledge or consent whereas I will almost always get his input before spending more than $200 on any one item.  But for the most part, we both buy what we want now and deal with the payments later…in a responsible sense.  Most of our furniture was purchased through a furniture store where we paid no payments or interest until our tax returns came in the following year.  We remodel the house at will, using a Home Improvement store charge card and paying it down month by month.  I get the stresses now and again and need some shopping therapy so I head to Kohl’s and charge whatever clothes suit my fancy that day without thinking about the bill until I receive it a month later.  He charges tools at work on a monthly basis and makes a payment every Friday. 

However, knowing all of that, you must also understand that we are frugal.  I shop sales and rarely pay full price.  We use coupons at times and try not to buy more than we need of anything.  We love garage sales and auctions to furnish our house and clothe ourselves and our children.  We both absolutely love a good deal.

So, you see, I don’t make money an issue in my life.  I won’t have it when I’m dead and gone so there is no point in not using it now.  It is nothing for me to buy a meal for a friend when we are out because it is usually I that insists on something more expensive than McDonalds.  That is also why I sold a vehicle to a family member and have never mentioned the fact that I wasn’t paid a dime in return for the sale and why when a friend called me up today and said, “Please don’t think any less of me, but can I borrow some money?” I didn’t think twice before writing the check.  Money isn’t an issue for me and I think that because I don’t allow it to stress me out, it has always appeared when I truly needed it the most.  I am hoping that this holds true when I have to return to paying bills after my mega expensive European trip in July!  I guess we’ll see. 

There was even a stripper pole!!!

I haven’t posted in a while so I figured I would come back with a bang…a wet and sticky one.  :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Several weeks ago, Miss Insanity had a Passion Party and invited me.  Since her and I have become pretty good friends as of late, I was going for sure.  I haven’t been to a home party type of thing in a long time and Passion Parties are definitely my style of party.

You don’t know what a Passion Party is?  Really?  OMG!  Well, let me tell you.  It is a party where a bunch of girls get together to learn about and get their hands on sex toys without having to go to an adult store in the middle of the day in a downtown neighborhood looking like a majorly perverted sex addict.

Well, anyway, Miss Insanity was hosting one and I was invited.  I begged Dear Hubby to let me use the car that night because showing up at a “toy party” in a minivan just felt utterly wrong to me.  I was the first to arrive (as usual) and picked out a comfy seat where I wouldn’t have to be too close to anyone else, thusly ensuring privacy when I was writing my order.  I had only been to two of these parties and I wasn’t nervous but I was definitely a little passive about the whole thing. 

It turns out that the night was pretty good.  I had a hard time ordering from the catalog because I just wasn’t sure what kind of “toys” the Hubby would be in to, but I did decide to get “laid” by having a party of my own.  I texted Hubby to make sure he was down with it and set a date.

A few weeks later, I had done all the dirty work—sent out e-mail invites, reminded people in person, sent text and e-mail reminders and handed out the website and catalogs to those that I knew wouldn’t make it to the party itself.  I hopped in the van (yes the minivan!) with the Hubby and headed off to the bar where we were holding the party.

By we, I mean that I co-hosted the Passion Party with a friend of mine…and by Hubby and me I meant that it was a party in which significant others were encouraged to attend!  Let me tell you, that was the best idea I have ever had in my life. 

I sat through the same presentation as before with one big difference…there were men in the audience.  Each person sat and listened the same as I did but with their heads in close to their spouses, each couple perused the order form and catalog while each “toy” was passed around and whispered their preferences to each other.  We all joked together.  We shared an openness in that private room of a bar that just isn’t present in normal society today.  The crowd was a mixed bunch of people that I knew personally as well as through other means, not everyone knew each other and we didn’t need to.  We were all there with one purpose…to learn about and purchase sex toys. 

And purchase they did.  To the tune of $1000.  I was handsomely rewarded with free gifts and discounts for my efforts but what I walked away with was far more valuable than that. 

I walked away with a better understanding of my husband, myself and us as a couple.  That one measly party garnered me more taboo conversations about sex lives than anything ever has.  I am closer to my man, I am closer to my friends and I am closer to myself. 

All because of a party in a bar where we passed around sex toys. 

And I now have a full drawer full of fun and a catalog full of circles for the next party that I attend.  Sex is no longer taboo, people.  It’s a part of life and we can deal with it openly or we can hide away our precious little toys. 

Apparently, I choose to deal with it openly and publicly on my blog. 

If you are ever invited to a Passion Party, I highly recommend the Nipple Nibblers in raspberry. :)  Let me know your opinion if you do buy. 

Are you there, J... *enter sound of crickets here*

Where the hell have you been, young lady?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Absent. For over a week. Gone. Disappeared. Not a single word written to let you know where I was or how I was doing. Nothingness. *sigh*

My excuse?

Oh. Um, I was busy. Am busy. Still. Not a moment of rest for this beyond tired soul. *sigh*

But, its Friday! Holy shit, I have never been more happy to see a Friday come in my entire life. :) I am ready for the weekend baby. Bring. It. On.

Ready for the run-down? Take a deep breath. You may need it. Cuz I have pictures. Yep. Pictures. Yippee for you.

THURSDAY, MARCH 19TH...Shopping for Materials.

Wood, insulation, $350 on the Menards Credit Card, super late when we got home, ruts in the soft grass from driving on it. Ugh!

FRIDAY, MARCH 20TH...Night out with My Girls.

Several text/pix messages about what I should wear (because I guess I am a girl and can't make that decision on my own), two Strawberry Daquiris and a Sex on the Beach down the gullet, two games of darts and $5.00 lost, ice in places it shouldn't be. Fun!

SATURDAY, MARCH 21ST...Remodeling Galore!

Lady K. came over, we emptied out the rooms completely and then framed out two outside walls, one inside wall and a closet. Hard Work!

SUNDAY, MARCH 22ND...Yell Until You Are Hoarse!

More small remodeling touch-ups, Birthday BBQ with the neighbors, rush to pick up Miss Insanity's daughter, rush to Girl Scout Cookie Booth location, stand in sun and yell until hoarse, send sick child home, finish up sales and pack up booth. 201 boxes of cookies sold in three hours. Whew!

MONDAY, MARCH 23RD...Thanks for Spreading It!

Miss Insanity informs me that all three of her children have Strep throat, school canceled due to impending bad weather, daycare closed due to infection, called in "can't come" to work, stay home with sore throat and laziness. Yuck!

TUESDAY, MARCH 24TH...Impending Doom Hits Hard!

Blizzard shuts down the entire area, interstate closed, stores closed, high winds and no visibility, people unable to open their doors, let dogs out to pee and they walk right over fence via the 6 foot drifts and run away, vehicles under massive amounts of wet snow. Stuck!

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 25TH...Escaped! But to what end?

We get out of the house, Hubby goes back to work, my office still snowed in, school still canceled, Teensy has bad sore throat again-take her to doctor, get prescriptions for her and me for Strep Throat, run Hubby back and forth to work because his car is still in 5 foot of snow, take Bubba to dentist appointment for a filling. Expensive Day!

THURSDAY, MARCH 26TH...Back in the Saddle!

Work until 2:30, rush to Cookie Cupboard to stock up on GS cookies for next cookie booth--they don't have them all, rush to grocery store to buy potluck item (Hummus and Pita Chips), go shopping at Kohl's...spend $200 and enjoy the retail therapy, rush to GS Leader meeting and Training Essentials Course (no one eats my Hummus), choke down Diet Coke since there wasn't anything else, head back home in snow and ice, call mom to check on kids--Hubby still at Town Hall meeting, pick up kids, unload 30+ cases of cookies, tuck kids in, wait for Hubby, rejoice over FREE membership to Community Center, wash new clothes, go to bed. Exhausting!

And that, people, leads me to today. Today, I am still trying to get caught up from three days out of the office, the car was dug out (causing some nasty back aches) just to find out that it was hydro-locked and thusly broken and needing to be towed and fixed, my living room is full of cases of GS cookies that need to be sorted into each girl and readied for tonight's Cookie Booth (which happens to conflict directly with a family Birthday Party), and the town is still covered in snowdrifts so high you can't see over them and narrow passageways that make driving difficult. *sigh*

Thank goodness it's Friday! I need a bit of a break, I think. And not one filled with bored, sick children and snow packed porches. A break that includes a few minutes to sit down and breathe in something other than the smell of cardboard and GS cookies.

St. Patty's Day fun for ye lads and lasses...

Okay, so that title sucks. And it's probably not even Irish speak. What the hell...it's not like I am Irish (as witnessed by the below quiz scores) so I shouldn't know these things anyway, right?

In the spirit of the day, I played around with some Irish fun and games this morning. Check out the list of things I did to waste my time!

~~I took a Blogthings Quiz to find out my Irish Name.

Your Irish Name Is: Fidelma O'Shea

~~I took An All Things Irish Quiz (and failed miserably!).

You got 1 out of 10 right!

~~I found out some interesting facts about St. Patrick's Day.

Did you know there are 4 places in the US named Shamrock and 9 places called Dublin?
Did you know that 41.5 billion pounds of beef and 2.6 billion pounds of cabbage were sold in 2007?
Did you know that over 100 St. Patrick's Day parades take place in the US?

~~I learned some new jokes.

Q. Why should you never iron a four leaf clover?
A. Because you don't want to press your luck!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What kind of music does a leprechaun band play!
A. Shamrock 'n Roll.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
A. A rash of good luck!

~~I found out that I should give an Irish gift to Lady K.

You Should Give a Bar Maiden

All in all, it was great fun filling my brain with even more inane facts and fun about a holiday that I assume is only about wearing green (which I am!) so as not to get pinched (which I won't!) and drinking green Irish Whiskey!

But do you know what my favorite thing about this day is? That I just got this as a souvenir from Lady K's trip to Vegas! Now I can carry my luck around on my phone!

Apologies on my tardiness, my dear...

A while ago, I asked CelticBuffy to interview me and I went ahead and answered one of the questions in her interview and then very promptly shoved the rest of them to the bottom of my inbox.  Well, I have unearthed them, answered them and am now posting them!  Whoo hoo! 

(Sorry it took sooooo long, my dear!!!)

What reality TV show would you like to be a participant on?  I am actually dying to be on a game show which is kind of a reality show, right?  Kinda?  Not really.  Well, anyway, I want to be a contestant on "Don't Forget the Lyrics" because I think that I could do really well.  What's stopping me?  I don't live anywhere near where the show is filmed, I have to send in a video of myself as an audition tape, and I just can't figure out who I would choose for my backups!!!  I would lose just about every reality show there is. 

• Survivor, please leave the island for being a wimp. 
• Real World, too old, application in trash can. 
• Amazing Race, not enough experience with travel (and too much crying), you are the last one to make it. 

Yeah.  I would just suck. 

If you could go back back and relive someone else's life, the way they lived,  whose life would it be?  Really, I would choose to go back and live the life of one of my friends so that I could better understand they lives they have lived and the pain they have felt so that I could be a better friend to them and be more understanding of the place from whence they came. 

Tell us one of your guilty pleasures.  Oh.  Do I have to?  All right.  I DVR teeny-booper tv shows and movies constantly and religiously watch them all the time!  Gossip Girl, Secret Life of an American Teenager, 10 Things I Hate About You, She's All That, Princess Diaries...the list is endless!  I didn't live a teenage-hood life like any of those shows/movies depicts and it fascinates me the type of relationships and dramas that they formed.  Hubby hates my dramatic shows and that is what turns them into a guilty pleasure for me.  I watch them when I am alone and can concentrate really hard on what's going on. 

What book and movie can you read/watch over and over and never tire of reading/seeing?  Movies would have to be the Rush Hour movies, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and 10 Things I Hate About You.  Books are a bit harder.  I read and keep a lot of books but once I read it, I am not likely to read it again. 

Lessons from the high school crowd...

I may need to check my birth certificate but I am pretty sure that I was born in September of 1980. Yeah. I am sure that was the year. And if that was, in fact, the year my mother labored for hours to bring me into this world, that would mean that today, as I sit here typing, I am 28 years old. Correct?

Yeah, that is what I thought.

What does that mean? Well, that means that in the eyes of the law, I am an adult. I can legally purchase alcohol, go to war, gamble, enter into a contracual agreement, etc. In the eyes of society, it means that I am old enough to know better but still young enough to engage in some frivilous fun on occasion. I can wear clothes that are cute or a little edgy because I am technically still in my 20's. Right?

So where in that 28 year old world does the High School Drama fit in?

The answer, my friends, is nowhere.

I have had my share of drama. I have, as recently as two years ago, lost a massive group of great friends to said drama. Drama I brought about, actually. And therein lies the point. My priorities have been put in order (finally) and the path that is set before me calls for one thing...me to behave like an adult.

And that is what I shall do.

I will not tolerate drama. I will not engage in drama. I will not be a part of drama. I have had my fill.

That is, of course, not to say that I won't occasionally gossip (as everyone loves a good piece of gossip). Nor does that mean that I won't get sucked in from time to time but as soon as I realize that I have been sucked into that never-a-good-ending vortex, I will bail. Me, myself and I can't handle YOUR drama.

I am trying to do the right thing, folks. I am trying to stay out of trouble and I am trying to walk the line that's straight and narrow. I don't want to fall off this tightrope...again...so I am doing all that is humanly possible to keep my balance. And because of that, I need to get this off my chest...

I get that this is a difficult situation. I get that I am friends with both of you. I get that you need to talk and you feel comfortable with me. I am okay with all of that.

All that I ask of you, is that you act like a fricking adult instead of a teenager needing attention and I would prefer it if you would keep my daughter out of your dramatic interpretation of life! She is fucking 6 years old and does not yet need to learn the lessons you are forcing me to teach her because believe you me, I am teaching her lessons from this.

She is being taught that it is not necessary to choose between two friends that subsequently hate each other. You can be friends with whoever you want to be friends with. You can invite anyone you want to your birthday parties because if they can't suck it up and get along out of love and respect for you, they can see themselves to the door.

She is being taught that just because your friends are doing something does not mean you have to go along with it. When a friend is bad mouthing someone, it is okay to say "I don't agree" and walk away. Friends like that aren't worth the time and hassle.

She is being taught that people deserve second chances in life...and sometimes third and fourth and fifth...because life is about the relationships we have and the memories we make and holding a grudge and hatred inside is not a healthy way to live.

She is learning that she can make her own choices and do her own thing regardless of others thoughts and feelings on the matter. And she is learning it because of yours and your daughters actions. So I suppose thanks are in order. I may not have wanted to teach her those lessons as part of her first grade curriculum but they are valuable all the same.

As for me? Go right ahead and continue to put me in the middle as you both know exactly where I stand. I will not do anything to alienate either of you because, like my precious little girl, I know that I don't have to choose. I am an adult. But please know that I do have my limits.

I won't tolerate random snarky text messages and voice mails--I will ignore they ever happened. I won't pretend not to know things that I do know. I will not engage in the bad mouthing, however, I will stand there and listen because you entertain me. I will form my own opinion on every matter at hand despite what yours happens to be. I don't take what you say to me and use it as a conversation starter to the other person. We all happen to be linked via the school's counselors and if I feel that something I have witnessed affects us all, I will be the first to tell you in the interest of looking out for your children who I adore.

And anytime you want to tell me how utterly adorable my daughter is and how absolutely fabulous her momma is...please feel free. Because we all know that the two of us are RockStars!!! :) As witnessed by this outfit we put together for school this morning...

Awww! An orange sleeveless floral dress over a pair of dark jeans and accompianed by short sleeved jacket for added warmth (since it was only about 40 degrees here today) and worn with her jack-o-lantern Halloween socks (the only clean ones!) and her usual brown Airwalk kicks. Eat your heart out Hannah Montana! Teensy is the Rock Star now!

I got a new layout and all you get is...

Today you get bullets! Fun for you!

• I was tired of my eyes screaming at me everytime I opened my blog so I changed the layout. It took me many hours to get it at all the way I wanted it and I still might not be happy.


• Miss Insanity has come up with the perfect murder weapon...an icicle. Yep. Genius, right? Except that now I told her secret so everyone will be looking at her as the suspect in the stabbing murder of someone's mom! It seems like she isn't the first to think this up though! Miss Insanity...you should read this book for ideas!
• I tried my hand at from scratch layouts today and with her ideas came up with a new layout for Lady K. Hop over and check it out and let her know how much you love it!


• I have a conference with both of my kids' counselors tonight. We are going to discuss their progress in the grieving department and see what else we can do. I'm nervous as heck about what they are going to say. I just don't want to cry.


• Teensy has sold 160 boxes of Girl Scout cookies. Her goal is 200. She hasn't sold to immediate family yet and we now have two definite cookie shops set up so I think she'll make her goal.
• I have actually had things to do at work and multi-tasking has been fun this week. Wish it could be this way always.


• I was home all day on tuesday with a deadly migraine headache which meant a four day week at work. I think all weeks should be four day-ers.


• I wasn't able to attend a Lia Sophia jewelry party held by one of the other daycare moms so I browsed through the catalog and bought this beautiful piece of jewelry for way more than what I intended to spend!
• I am not the only one in my immediate surroundings that has a touch of OCD! From restacking hamburgers if they are done wrong to counting steps, the people around me are just as wacky as I am!!! I now feel normal...in an abnormal way. :)
• I signed up for a Community Education Class on Creative writing. And i am a little scared about that. I've never taken a writing class before and I don't know if I will be any good.

And that is about it for today. I know I haven't posted all week but my brain just isn't thinking in terms of creative blog posts. So deal.

How long-winded does one need to be while procrastinating?

I found this MeMe on Princess's blog.  She called it "Get the Party Started".  I am going to call it ...

RANDOM ANSWERS FOR MY LIFE

...and then I am not going to follow the rules at all.  Well, maybe a few a little.  Kinda.

Here are the rules:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.  (I used my cell phone that has approx. 10 of my CD's uploaded to the memory card and therefore, has a minimal amount of music and yet are all songs that I like to listen to.)
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.  (I did this except that if my music player repeated a previous song, I hit the next button again.)
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.  (I did that.  That was the fun part.)
4. Tag 10 friends.  (Um, no.  I am not tagging anyone.  Do it if you would like to and leave me a comment so that I can enjoy your answers.) 
5. Have Fun!

 

Let's get it on!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Love in the First Degree  --Am I to take this to mean that love has knocked me on my ass or that I am completely in love?  This title confuses me a little as an answer to this question.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Want To (Sugarland) --Yep, that is me...I want to do a lot of things right now!  Which reminds me...I should register for that community ed class today!

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
One More Girl (The Wreckers) --That sounds a bit kinky.  The only way I will like a guy/girl is if they bring another girl.  LOL  Probably not...well, maybe. 

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Baby Mine (Alison Krauss) --Exactly.  My thoughts today are on my little boy who was in the nurses office again.  I have been worried about his behavior, his health and his mental state all day!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Good as Gone (Little Big Town) --My purpose in life is as good as gone?  WTF.  My life is not over.  Now living good until I'm gone, that I can handle. 

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
I Believe in Love (Don Williams) --I do.  I believe in love.  :)  That's a good motto...just like Love Will Keep Us Together (see last question).

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Cigarettes (The Wreckers) --Is that because I used to go out on smoke breaks with them all the time even though I don't smoke?

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
I'll Fly Away (Alison Krauss)  --They are hoping!  No, really, I am sure they never thought I would be the one to stick close to home.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Islands in the Stream (Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton) --I can't say that I think about them often but in some ways it makes sense.  The islands in the middle of the stream always seem so unreachable...especially since I won't wade out to them.  Is that a message to me?

WHAT IS 2+2?
Bones (Little Big Town) --Really?  2+2=Bones...Math=Death.  LOL  Maybe to you but surely not in my life!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
My Wish (Rascal Flatts) --Yes.  Right on.  Wishes for my best friends have been on my mind lately...that one be happy and that the other be safe. 

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
What Hurts the Most (Rascal Flatts) --Keeping track of which thing hurt the most would bring me to my knees...but that is my life story for sure. 

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
That Don't Impress Me Much (Shania Twain) --A career doesn't really impress me all that much.  I really don't care what I am when I grow up. 

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Where the Green Grass Grows (Tim McGraw) --That's my home.  That is where the green grass is.  That is the life.  That is my love. 

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Would You Go With Me (Josh Turner) --Who wants to go alone?  I would sure be wanting someone to hold my hand through it.  Want to go with me?

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
So Small (Carrie Underwood) --Because I haven't been pursuing it at all lately.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
If You Wanna Touch Her (Shania Twain) --Biggest fear...Don't touch my kid!  Good answer to this one. 

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Bring it On Home (Little Big Town) --What?  What am I bringing home?  Huh? Not understanding this one?  Hmm...must think on it some more. 

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Flat on the Floor (Carrie Underwood) --Is this saying that I want to be drunk?  Well, maybe.  Or is it saying that I want to be horizontal...well, maybe to that too!  I could use some sleep right now!  Or sex.  That's good, too. 

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
This Kiss (Faith Hill)  --Kissing in regards to my friends?  Um, no.  Not so much.  Hugs are good.  Kisses?  Not really. 

YOUR HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART IS DOING WHAT NOW?
It's A Great Day to Be Alive (Travis Tritt)  --Well, good, I guess.  I mean I hope he is happy to be alive. 

THE THING MOST LIKELY TO GET YOU FIRED FROM A JOB IS?
Love Will Keep Us Together (Captain and Tennille)  --Does that mean that I will get in trouble for having sex at my job?  Really?  Hey, Hubby, wanna come have lunch with me?  :)

Merry Christmas...Are You Dead Yet?

I have a confession to make.

It's kind of a big one.

One that I am worried will skew your view of me forever.

I am a great gift giver (that is not my confession. "Wait for it..." Oh, wow! I never remember lines to movies and the like! I can't believe I remembered that one! Sweet! Wish I could remember which movie it came from! Oops...wander much?). Back on track. This last Christmas I was rather slack in the ideas section of my gift giving. Most likely due to the fact that Christmas didn't feel like Christmas without the home and family bit and therefore I was lacking any of the usual excitement and wonder behind the season to catapult my gift giving abilities to the super-stardom level. In fact, I just kinda stayed on the ground with the normal folk that never know what to buy.

Until one day, I was walking through the local Sam's Club and saw the absolute perfect present for my best friend, Lady K. You see, she is a food lover. And I don't mean that in just a normal "she likes to eat" kind of way. I mean that she has been known to have food orgasms (even multiple in one sitting) when she's eating something especially tasty. Food is her weakness. But she is a picky eater, too. Nothing American is going to fly at her table. the regular fare of pizza and hamburgers does not tempt her palate in the slightest. She prefers foreign delicacies on her plate.

Like Baklava.

And that, my friends is what I found in Sam's Club that day. The gift-giving heavens opened and smiled upon me as I realized that packaging was horrendous but the price was spot on, and therefore I could put my own little spin on the repackaging of it and make it my own masterpiece. Yay! I had done it yet again!

So that is what I did. I put the Baklava into a cute little tin and gave it to my bestest friend with all the love I could muster. It was beautiful. She loved it. *sigh* She coveted it. *sigh* She shared it with all who entered her house that she deemed worthy of a taste of the best gift ever. *double sigh*

So, why do I tell you this story now? Over a month after I gave such a wonderful gift?

This week, I got a letter in the mailbox that stated the following...

"This letter is to inform you that we have learned today that, RAIN CREEK BAKING CORPORATION in cooperation with the FDA has initiated a Recall of its BAKLAVA ASSORTMENT due to potential contamination of Salmonella.

Our records reflect that you purchased the BAKLAVA ASSORTMENT with a UPC 0003810520213. We request that you review your inventory records and segregate and return the item to your local Sam's Club for a full refund. If you have sold or shipped any of this product, we request that you contact your customers and notify them of the recall. "

Merry Christmas, Lady K. I tried to kill you.

What did you say you wanted for your birthday?

Oh and do you think you could return what you haven't already scarfed down in a moment of weakness pawned off on someone else eaten so I can get my money back? What's that? No. Wait just a minute. I am NOT a greedy little...oh, well, yeah. I guess I kinda am. Forget I asked.

All of the dirt that makes us human...

Do you ever watch those cheesy movies on Lifetime?  Cheesy not because of their content but because of the two-bit actors/actresses, the over played drama and the overdone themes.  You know the ones I am talking about.  You have all seen at least one.   I have seen several.  On occasion. 

When I am feeling introspective about my life.  When I want something of a pick me up, a happy ending, I tune in to that channel to watch one of their romance novels on the screen.  When I am in a mood to try and find hope in this world via problems that are way bigger than mine, I tune in to one of their true to life someone-stole-my-baby movies.  The movies always deliver a plethora of emotions and a ladder up and out of whatever funk I am currently residing in. 

On New Years Day, Lifetime aired a "Ring in the Romance" marathon of movies.  Betcha can't guess the theme!  Okay, well maybe you can.  :)  Anyway, I DVR'd a movie called "Chaos Theory".  I was enchanted with the title, the actor was someone I recognized and the beginning caught our attention nicely. 

The scene:

A New Years Eve party in a swanky city bar.  6 friends sitting on couches around a coffee table are discussing their resolutions.  The main woman stands, walks overtop the table and says that her resolution is to find a husband...and she is going to pick from her friends.  The men start clawing over each other for this "miraculous chance".  It is settled that she will choose her husband from amongst the four men (one of who is with his woman at the time) solely based upon the name of his penis. 

Really?  Do guys really name their penis's?  Is that really something that any self respecting woman would base a life-long decision on?  The name of a ding-a-ling?  Really?  Hmmm.  Although I am now extremely curious as to whether or not men name them and what exactly they choose for names.  What is the selection process for something like that?  What are his thought processes? 

I am going to name my member today.  What will I call him?  Hmmm...
Princess Sophia Nope, too girly.
Squishy, Squishy Oh, not the right impression.
Mr. Ed May not live up to it's name.
Gunther. Yeah, that one may work.  Sounds strong and manly.  I'll go with that.

How about women?  Do women name their parts, too? 

The left one is Everest and the right is Kilamanjaro. 

What the hell?  Really?

Oh, the va-jay-jay?  I call it Mount Vesuvius on account of the fact that it erupts violently. 

Wow!  This post sure has gotten off track.  Completely.  And taken a slight turn to the left.  Oops.  Okay what was my point again?  Oh yeah!

So I DVR'd this movie and watched it the other day when I wasn't having to deal with Hubby's and kids and noise (because I hate those things when I am trying to escape into a tv show or movie!).  The movie itself was weird and random and not really all that great if I am being honest, which apparently I am, but it ended with the most amazing monologue that I had to rewind and write, rewind and write, rewind and write until I had it all taken down on paper.

"Well, it turns out that there are few things more chaotic than the beat of a human heart.  Speeding up, slowing down, a pretty face, a flight of stairs...it's always changing depending on what's happening to us out there.  It's an erratic son of a bitch.  But underneath all of that bumpity-bump mess, there is, in fact, a pattern.  The truth.  And it's love. 

The most important thing about love is that we choose to give it and we choose to receive it making it the least random act in the entire universe.  It transcends blood, it transcends betrayal and all of the dirt that makes us human."

Deep stuff, huh?  Yeah that's what I thought, too.  Those sentences, those words, smacked me so hard in the face that day, that I found myself taking a step backwards, looking around at my family and being entirely encased in a gratitude unlike any I have ever felt. 

My friend once told me she didn't believe in marriage because she believed that it was basically a cop out, in my understanding.  She said that married people wake up everyday next to their spouse and feel obligated to stay because they are married, because they made the choice to get married once when they were head over heels in love and continue to stay that way to avoid the hassle. 

As an unmarried woman, she woke up every day next to her partner and made the choice to stay even though she always had the option of a semi-hassle free parting of ways.  She felt that everyday choice was more significant than the one-time choice of getting married to begin with. 

I partially agree with her. 

But, internet, the truth is this.  I live in a chaotic world, but amongst that chaos is the truth that no matter what my past holds, my husband wakes up and chooses to love me and I wake up and choose to love him every single day. 

And for that I am grateful.  And beyond blessed. 

Interview with a vampiress...

I asked Lady K over at this site to interview me knowing full well that she would come up with questions that would stretch my mind to capacity in search of the answers. She has a way of sucking the answers right out of my being. Here's what she came up with. :)

#1 What are 5 words in the English language that inspire emotion in you whether love or hate, joy or confusion?

This one is interesting for me because in my life words are just words. I talk so much, so often that most words lose their meanings and are replaced with whatever I want them to be replaced with. But let me try and come up with a few. I guess number one would be love. That word gives me a sense of peace and you can bet that no matter when I am doodling that word will be one of the first things that emerges on the paper. Number two would be cunt. Cuss words don't usually affect me. Words only have as much power as you give them and in my world cunt has a lot of power. It is not a word that you will hear me say out loud...ever...and it is most definitely not a word I would throw out as an insult to another person. It evokes feelings of rage and sadness to hear it. Number three would be asinine. It makes me feel silly when I say it especially when I use it haphazardly in conversation. It's just a funny word to me. Number four would have to be dad. Confusion and sadness creep up over me when that word is used and I have to smash some feelings down. The last one would be smile. That is probably the most important word in my vocabulary. I use it often and it makes me happy.

#2 What song do you feel best describes you or a situation or emotion you are going through right now?

Music hasn't been all that inspirational to me recently. Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten" almost always speaks to me as I feel like I am writing my own book to the best of my ability but it is far from finished and I am the only one that is capable of writing it. It reminds me to say what I want to say because no one else can speak for me, to live with an mind and heart open to new possibilities, and to live my life instead of sitting on the sidelines.

#3 If you had one hour with a magic therapist who in that one hour could fix one emotional issue completely what one issue would you address?

The issues with my father. I believe that I can work through just about everything else on my own but the issues I have with my father run so deep and hurt so badly that I have found myself completely unable to deal with even a small portion of them and continue to cram them so far back in the recesses of my being that I fear the only release for them would be death. However, if a magic therapist could cure me of those issues (or at least give me the tools to deal properly), I believe that most of the other issues in my life would solve themselves.

#4 What scared you when you were little? When you were 20? Right now?

I don't remember having any fears when I was little. I guess I was scared of losing my little sister when she had surgery at the age of four. I have always been terrified of losing my brother for reasons unknown to me. After my dad left, I was scared I'd never see him again (and I haven't). When I was a teenager, I was scared of losing my mother at the hands of my step-father. When I was 20, I was scared of failing at being a parent. Now, I am scared of ghosts haunting my family, losing my children before their time, and of my husband no longer being here. There is more in my life to fear now than when I was little. Back then, I expected and relied upon my parents to protect me from anything harmful, today I have to do that myself.

#5 What makes you feel pretty?

It's interesting but this answer has taken more thought than one would expect. I guess for me to feel pretty everything has to fall right into place. My clothes have to be comfortable, my hair in place. My body must be feeling good (no aches or pains) and my skin not dry. I would have to have a reason to smile, too. A good day in my life makes me feel pretty. As soon as that day starts to go south, the prettiness fades away, too.

Official Holiday Recap...complete with Naughty Nutcrackers...

I bitched and whined and cried a lot about Christmas, didn't I? It's okay. You can say it. The truth. I did. I know it.

I'm not sorry. But at least I admit that I was a big baby this year.
That is not to say that my holiday was a good one. Far from it. It was stressful, hard, tearful and I barely survived through it. But I did and now that it is over, I can focus on the silver linings that brought a smile to my heart (even if not to my face) and appreciate the holiday for what it was...different.

As I was scanning through my photos this morning (admittedly many, many less than were taken in previous years) I came across a few that gave me a moment of joy at the memories that came slamming back into my brain. Memories and moments that I couldn't recall just a few short days ago as I was chest deep in sorrow and doing a wonderful job of wallowing in the pit.

((I should take a pause to apologize for what I am sure has been absolutely rotten behavior on my part to all who know me, talk to me or read my blog. I am back, I am better...I am now PMSing, so please be careful.))

So here they are folks. The top memories of Christmas 2008 (in no particular order) which is just another way of saying "The only things that made me think of smiling "...

Picture of my kids with their Great Grandpa. We weren't having a cheese button dinner at his trailer house surrounded by the Christmas Village and dozens of family members. We were instead in a cold and stark room in a nursing home surrounded by staff ready to take him to the dining room but all the same, he helped bring Christmas cheer for a few moments. And if nothing else, I will always have this picture to share with my kids.

 

Oh look!  The Nutcrackers have been so naughty that the kids put them in the corners to serve their Time-Out punishments.  When I came back through the kitchen I saw that the one on the left must have needed to pee so my son used a nearby Easter bucket so that he wouldn't piss on the carpet!

Oh, yes...who could forget this?  Lady K was in need of some holiday spirit so my mom and I planned a Christmas Goodie baking day.  As we finished each tray of goodies, we placed them on my bed (having no where else to put them).  This is Lady K taking a picture of our finished progress.  I was so busy yelling at her ("Don't you dare fall on all of that hard work!!! Get down at once!") that I didn't get a picture of the actually goodies.  I spent the rest of the evening singing "I smell sex and candy,  yeah..." in my head!

Dear Hubby helping Teensy put the angel on the tree.  It was just too sweet to not smile for a moment. 

That for the first time ever, my Step-Dad may have actually loved a gift he got from us...a book of history about trains and the area in which we live. 

 

 My kids did a wonderful job helping with the blue bag pick up for the food drive.  They enjoyed giving to others in need as much as dear Hubby and I had hoped they would. 

My puppies absolutely got into the Christmas Spirit and enjoyed the toys they got from us.  It was hard to keep them from fighting over them though after Lasey chewed the squeaky out of hers right away.

Bubba's XBOX came in to a nearby town at 10 pm on Christmas Eve and my mom drove the 30 mile to pick it for us.  THANKS MOMMY!  WE OWE YOU BIG TIME AND WILL NEVER FORGET IT!

Teensy's doll house was so tall she stood on the coffee table to open it.  Apparantly this is the best photo I got of her and it. 

Hubby adored his gift...he HAS been asking for it for several years and I finally was able to find exactly what he wanted.

I loved my gifts, too.  Best of all was the "Twilight" book and the mega expensive perfume that I have been out of for several months.  Thanks for listening, honey!

So that's that.  The best memories of Christmas 2008.  I guess I was able to smile a bit and enjoy myself at times.  However, you may not have noticed (although I surely did) that there are no pictures from Christmas with Hubby's family.  That's because for me it sucked.

Slipping further and further...

For every day that we get closer to Christmas, I slip a little bit further.

For every hour that my children anxiously await the arrival of Santa Claus, I slip a little bit further.

For every present that has been bought and wrapped and placed under the tree, I have slipped a little bit further.

For every holiday party attended and/or talked about, I have slipped a little bit further.

Into what? Where am I slipping? Depression, my dears. The deep, dark depths of black-laden depression.


Christmas is my second favorite holiday. The food, the gifts, the shopping sprees, the joy on the faces of all the children, the spirit of the season, the bells, the jingles, the wreaths and trees. I love every aspect of Christmas from the colored lights to the old time carols, the joyous bell ringers to the falling white snow.

Not this year.

This year...needs to be over.

The amount of change that is happening this year is far too much for this little woman to bear. Too much of my comfort zone has been extracted and what I am left with is a shell of painful emotions and a perma smile facade. I am a fake. I pretend that this season is like any other and yet I am dying inside. I wish it were the first week of January so that I didn't have to feel this way.

They say the first year is the hardest. Dawg says that's not true. I am inclined to believe him over the masses but at the same time, I hope that it gets easier.

As for the changes, I am trying to take them in stride. Our plans are, as of now, as follows...

Last Night: Drive around delivering Christmas Cards and viewing all sibling's Christmas Trees. ((Totally didn't happen because another wrench was thrown into my plans and I lost it completely. Totaly crying, freak-out session that did nothing to make me feel any better! Instead I spent the evening wrapping gifts, finishing homemade presents, and wrapping up a million and one loose ends so that the next couple of days goes by smoothly.))
Tonight: Girl Scout Christmas Party complete with 15 hyped up girls and their families, an ornament exchange, and a cookie exchange (as if any of us needs any more Christmas goodies).
Christmas Eve: Both Hubby and I have to work (probably full days) with the kids at daycare. Miss Insanity is closing at 3 pm so one of us will need to get off work by then. Then we will head home to load up all the presents for my parents and head over for a dinner of non-traditional Chili with my parents and step siblings.
Christmas Day: Open presents with Hubby and kids in the morning and then head over to Bro and Sis-in-laws house for traditional Christmas half-feast. Head back home after the feast and present exchange to an Appetizer dinner and game playing with Lady K and maybe Crazy Kat.
Day after Christmas: No work, no school...sleep in late and spend the day playing on Max's new XBOX...if it gets here in time for Christmas!!!

Sounds like a full and fun couple of days, right? Not really. This is where all the changes come in. We have never before driven from house to house to say our Holiday Greetings before. This year, it feels sort of mandatory. Christmas Eve has always been spent at Grandma and Grandpa's house. This year, Grandma is gone and Grandpa is in a nursing home where no one has even bothered to decorate his room. There is no setting up nor viewing the village that I had come to love. I won't mention the Chili dinner. That just is what it is. As for Christmas Day...well, my mom will be driving several hours to meet up with my sister for a few minutes and then heading off to a cousins house. My Mother-in-law is gone, her decorations spread amongst the houses of her children as small, daily reminders that she isn't coming back. Her house stands empty with no heat and no cheer as Dad is living with his girlfriend instead. Dinner won't be the grand feast-to-end-all-feasts and if Thanksgiving is any indication, leftovers will be scarce. The appetizer dinner in the evening, that was my idea, as a way to satisfy a craving I've been having and hopefully ending the day on the tiniest sliver of joy. Maybe. Probably not. But definitely maybe.

Am I bitching and whining ans woe-is-meing? Yes. But really, can you blame me? The Christmas Spirit has all but completely died around here.

And my second favorite holiday is ruined. *sigh*

At least I will have my Bacon Wrapped Jalepeno Bites. Now I'll just hope for the Bacon Wrapped Water Chestnuts to come, too.

And the research begins...

Have I told you all that I am going to Germany? Yes? No? Well, I am...in about 7-8 months. And that means that I better start researching and planning now. That isn't a very long time!!! I have a million things to do and plan and get ready and, and, and... OMG!! I am already overwhelmed!

So, why do I bring this up? Because I am EXCITED!!! Well, that and I found out that my trip is going to be way better than I had originally hoped.

My heritage is German and Norwegian although the German side is the only one that ever gets attention...well, except for that book filled with Norwegian stories, folklore and recipes that I gave to my mom as a souvenir from Disney World back in February, that I am sure she has probably never even opened...and other than the occasional urge to through in some old time traditions to the holidays, I have never really been one to delve that deeply into where my ancestors came from.

But now the research has officially begun. Well kinda. I just received a letter from my paternal grandfather who upon learning of my upcoming trip to Germany told me that there was a hotel there belonging to and named after our ancestors! Really! How cool is that? So there is one more destination that I am interested in seeing upon my 2 week stay there. But I most likely won't get the chance to see said namesake hotel.
Hubby and I only have 2 weeks in Germany (including the travel time which will be a day there and a day back) and that is already pushing our budgeting a bit. We are going to visit my best friend, Josie and Dear Hubby's Sister, her husband and their kids. They all have a million places they want to take us to see including the castle that Disney's Cinderella Castle is based on and the Nurburgring race track. They also want to take us to Paris on the train. Sounds wonderful, right?

Well, I also found out that my little sister and her family will be transferred to Vicenza, Italy with the Army in March of 2009 and it happens to be only 8 hours away from where we will be staying so we have to bop on down to see the Italian countryside for a few days as well.
If we are doing all of that, why, do you ask, can't we go to the Reichs K hotel? Because it is 6 hours in the opposite direction of where we are going to be exploring! Argh! Guess I will have to be doing some more research to fit it all in! Beware of the next seven months of posts on Germany sights that I want to see.

Betcha didn't know...

I have been totally MIA for the last four days!

I wrote five blog entries on Wednesday and pre programmed them to run on the right day! I am just soooo good. You never even knew did ya? :)

Here's what I have been up to...in pictures because I am still recovering and have a million things to do this week!!!

I made my contribution for the Thanksgiving feast...

...and everyone loved it, of course.

I let my daughter loose with my camera...

...and marveled at the results.

Lady K and I went Black Friday shopping...

...at 4 am!

We took the kids to a Parade of Lights...

...and laughed at Palm Trees at Christmas.

We went on our annual Tree Hunt excursion...

...and had to be pushed and pulled out of the snow!

And then my camera batteries died...

...but not before I took these!

The truth is that I didn't enjoy the past four days all that much as I was living them. But looking back at the pictures now, I realize that I need to pull my head out of my ass and get in the holiday spirit. So what if things have changed? So what if it's harder than hell to get out of bed and face the day sometimes? Do you see these pictures? Yeah. Me too. Life is for living and living is good. I am thankful for my life and my family...even if it is a few days late.

Tears for my insightful ideas...

Today, I feel as if I am making a difference.  I am teaching girls to be independent, strong women who will grow up and be the leaders of America (i.e. the best corporate business women, the best stay-at-home-moms, and the best of the best of working women).  Why will they be the best?  Because I gave them the foundation, the building blocks, to construct their lives from.  And it's a pretty solid base if I do say so myself. 

Yes, I am pretty confident in myself.  Today.

Why, you ask?

Because someone else saw the potential and wonderment in something that I have put in motion.  I brought someone to tears with my idea.  In fact, she wants to do it, too.  To be in on the enjoyment that one gets from bringing joy to someone else.  And the idea was all mine. 

It's not a new idea, you say?  Oh.  Well, it was still all my idea in how to implement and carry-out this, this...um, curriculum. 

You see, I have 13 girls.  Yep.  13.  And they are all 6-8 years old.  Really, I share them with Miss Quiet.  I kinda stole them, actually.  But that's not the point.  The point is that I love each of them and can't wait to see what kind of success they achieve in their lives because Miss Quiet and I took the time to nurture and guide them in their formative years. 

Today, we are picking up 10 of the 13 girls from school (the other three will meet us) and we are taking a tour of the Post Office.  Why?  As an introduction.  Yep.  We are starting a project that is important to me.  That came from deep in my heart.

What is it, you ask?

Care Packages.  For Soldiers stationed in Iraq.  Yep.  Like my best friend, Josie.  In fact, she is going to help us with this project.  She is going to make sure that this is a full circle learning experience and not just another badge to be earned. 

Today, my girls will learn how the postal system works.  Postage, stamps, APO and FPO addresses.  They will see the machinery.  They will ask their questions and get their answers.  Then, after we have gathered enough information, we will move on to phase two of their learning process.  Geography.  We have to know where our packages are being sent, so we will learn.  We will learn about the climate, the people, the reason for their stay there.  We will map it and calculate how far the packages will go.  Then, of course, we will fill the boxes.  The girls will choose their own treasures to send to these amazing men and women in uniform and we will pack it all in tight with homemade paper snowflakes.  If there is any room left over, Miss Quiet and I will pick up some more things to add in that will undoubtedly bring smiles to the faces of our newfound soldier friends.

I simply can't wait for this project to get under way.

But that isn't the best part!  The girls will get return mail!  My friend, Josie, is going to use the disposable camera that I add in the box to take pictures of the things around her and then will send it back for me to develop.  The girls will get to see some of the sights of Iraq from a Soldier's perspective.  Not just any soldier though.  A Girl Scout Woman of Distinction.  A strong, independent woman who is rising to the top of her game more and more everyday.  The kind of woman that these girls will grow up to be. 

With my help and guidance.  And that of Miss Quiet, too. 

We are proud.  And I don't mind speaking for her.  :)

Hump day is here again...

It is totally Hump Day. Except it doesn't feel like the middle of the week or like we are heading into the down slide. It feels like the week is just starting! Argh!

The past week has been completely full of highs and lows and since I completely missed List Making Tuesday (what was I thinking!?!), I figured I'd make a list of the good the bad and the ugly for today's post.

THE GOOD
--I voted in the 2008 presidential election because I CAN vote! Go me!
--My hubby voted for the first time ever in his life! (Yeah, I know he's 28 and he voted the opposite of me but hey, I am still super proud of him for exercising his right and taking the privelege seriously.)
--OBAMA is president!!! Oh yeah! Ooh rah! Yay!
--I am, as we speak, simmering a pot of chili for dinner and it smells so yummy that my mouth is watering. (I may only be able to cook a few things but I do those few things really well and chili is definitely one of my strong suits!)
--I got an e-mail from my best friend in Iraq and she is alive and well and only has 4 1/2 more months of deployment.
--I got to pull out my old belly dance costuming and put it to use in a pirate costume for a Halloween party.

THE BAD
--My momma is going to be out of town until next Tuesday. :(
--I have a dentist appointment in the morning to get some cavities filled. (What can I say? Bad teeth runs in my family.)
--I had to leave work early on Monday because Miss Insanity's kid was sick and she couldn't take the daycare kids and my momma had a doctor's appointment herself.
--No new episode of HOUSE last night because of the election coverage on every fricking channel!

THE UGLY
--The WTF weather!!! It is fricking snowing! After a weekend of great weather and a picnic in the park, it is now blizzarding outside! Yuck!
--California, Arizona and Florida. They are ugly. Do you know what they all have in common? Yeah. A bunch of anti-rights mother f'ers that are causing this country to take 10 steps back in the civil rights department. Double argh!

So, yeah. That is about it. Now, I am going to go back to my chili making and getting the house ready for a slumber party on Friday! Lady K and her daughter, Missy K are coming to spend the night and watch movies and eat junk food with us. I am sooooo excited! Talk to all you in the blogoshpere tomorrow!!!

A holiday inside a holiday...

OMG! OMG! OMG!

You are so totally not going to guess how many posts I have done!!!  Oh, you know?  Oh really?  How many then?  Did you say 100?  Oh.  Well. 

YOU'RE RIGHT!

This is my 100th post on this blog!  Really!  Can you believe it?  No?  Me neither!

And the coolest part is that this...my 100th post...is falling on none other than...

HALLOWEEN!!!

How fun is that?  I will always remember the day I wrote my 100th post because it fell on a holiday!  Woot, woot!

--------------------------------------------------------------

So, what can I do to make this...my 100th post...more fun?  How about talk about the fact that it is Halloween?  Yeah?  Okay.  :)

 

The Haunted House last night was solidly okay.  I didn't scream.  I yelled.  I cussed (a lot).  I just about threw my hands up and said "I'm done!" (which is what they tell you to do if it gets to be too much for you) when the monster that jumped out of a closed door pointed in the direction of a small opening in a fireplace instructing us to crawl through.  Um yeah.  I don't think so.  I looked at him and said "no".  He looked at me and nodded his bony skull.  I stared at him in disbelief and tried to remember what I was supposed to do to just get out.  Then, I was pulled in the direction of the fireplace and shoved through the opening at which time the air stopped making it through to my lungs.  I'm a bit claustrophobic, you see, and the thought of crawling through anything in a Haunted House makes my throat close up and my eyes bug out of my head.  Um, yeah.  There is something about not being able to crawl as fast as I can run that just freaks the shit out of me!  Yikes! 

But, I made it.  And that happened to be the very last room.  And I walked out a bit disappointed that it was over.  But I didn't pee my pants. 

All in all, it was a good experience.  Oh...and we scared the crap out of some teenaged girls in front of and behind us so that was fun!  :)

Lady K and I--We don't look scared...but this is the before picture!

------------------------------------------------------

The kids are ready for Halloween tonight.  Here is what their costumes will look like...

 

                (Teensy as Ariel and me as a Pirate at the Girl Scout Party on Tuesday)

 

                           (Dear Hubby as Frankenstein and Bubba as the Grim Reaper

at the Boy Scout party on Monday.)

 Okay, well, time to get back to the daily grind.  Hope everyone has a

         Happy Halloween!

Jump Starting a life...on List Making Tuesday...

It's the dead of winter.  A cold and stormy day.  The wind is whipping the bare branches of the trees so hard you fear they may snap.  Unfortunately,  you have to go somewhere.  You bundle yourself up in your heaviest coat, boot , wool hat and mittens (all black to reflect your depressed mood brought on by months of cold darkness ) and wade your way through the twelve inches of snow to reach you lonely, frozen car.  You yank hard on the driver's door in an effort to get it open and plop down on the seat.  Un-gloving your hand, you slide the small silver key into the ignition and turn.  You get nothing.  No noise, no sign of life, nothing.  It doesn't even try.  What now?  You need a jump start...and that will require a kind soul to help you out.

-------------------------------------------

So what do you do when that scenario is real?  Not real as in you can't start  you car but real as in you can't seem to start your life.  Major changes have come about and you just can't seem to get a hold on anything that will pull you out of the depths of the depression you are in.  You seek the advice of a friend.  A kind soul to help you out. 

Ta Da!  Here I am!

My ideal life is bouncing from one thing to the next.  Does that make me flighty?  Maybe.  But, the thing is that I know that life is about the little things, the experiences that we have.  You will not die remembering how many nights you spent watching tv.  You will not die remembering the name of every book you read.  You may not make a huge impact in the world in terms of wealth or popularity.  You may not become the worlds greatest humanitarian.  But you will remember the experiences.

So, I say BOUNCE!  Bounce form one thing to the next and rack up as many experiences as you can.  Make your life memorable even if it's not perfect.  Make it worth it, even if it isn't easy.  Live your life...and do your best to enjoy every minute of it.

IDEAS TO JUMP START YOUR LIFE...

• Get a part-time job at a place you never would have thought to work...a pet store, a fast food restaurant, a kennel, a grocery store...don't be afraid to quit if it is too much for you to handle.
• Write a book...about anything.  Parenting, lifestyle differences, self-help, fictional, children's.  Just write what you know.  Write your legacy, your life story...for your child.
• Paint a picture (like one you said you would do for a friend!).  Put everything you have into creating something amazing that can be cherished by someone.
• Take a class.  Any kind of class...educational, art, hobby, classes offered online, at a craft store or through community education.  Just learn something and it could open doors you never knew existed.
• Meet someone new.  Anyone.  Male, female, elderly or child.  Introduce yourself to someone you don't know and strike up a conversation.  You never know what kind of friendship it could become. 
• Create a work of art.  A sculpture, an afghan, a song.  Make something beautiful and then share  it with someone unexpected.
• Start a new business venture.  Get hands on and come up with a plan of attack and just go for it. 
• Take a trip.  Explore your surroundings.  Experience the world you have at your fingertips.
• Visit an old friend...one you haven't seen or heard from in a while.  Make a date and enjoy that person's company.  Talk, listen, laugh, cry and remember.
• Volunteer somewhere...a woman's shelter, a dog pound, the local Boy/Girl Scout office.  Count your blessings as you help others learn and grow and you see those less fortunate than yourself.

Don't cite money as an issue.  Don't cite time.  you can do these things if you want to.  "Don't bitch about something that you won't work to change."  Just Bounce...from one thing to the next until you have experienced more than your fair share in this life.  Just enjoy those moments that you have for you are way more fortunate than many of those around you.

After all, you have the awesomeness that is me on your side.  :)

Skeeve says it gets worse...

It has been extremely hard to come up with topics for blog posts around here because my brain hasn't been producing very many coherent thoughts.  I have been home, literally, only to sleep since last Friday and it is starting to take it's toll on me.  The bad thing?  There isn't an end in sight to the never-ending run around that is challenging me right now. 

I missed List Making Tuesday (which has me a bit frazzled, to be honest) and could use a list right now to get my thoughts in order so that I can proceed with this week...and the next.  So, in an effort to get myself together, here we go.

To start with, here is what I have been up to...

*Girl Scouts has officially begun.  I have taken an more active co-leader position this year which means that I am the one hunting down parents for signatures instead of just showing up to meetings.  The other leader was unable to attend the first meeting and therefore made it a bit more difficult to introduce the new members of the troop as well as get out all information that the girls and parents needed to start the fall fundraising sale. 

*I became the Product Manager for this area of Girl Scouts which means that I have to make sure and get all local troop leaders all information regarding the Fall fundraiser, enter all of their information in the computer when the sale is over, make sure that the troop leaders, as well as, all parents, pick up the stuff they sell for delivery and dole out all incentives earned (which will all be delivered to my house and must be sorted and organized by yours truly).

*Helping my daughter sell nuts, candies and magazine subscriptions to raise money for her Girl Scout troop.  She has high hopes in the way of incentives and I in turn have high hopes in the amount of money we raise for our activities. 

*School Conferences.  Yep, it is already time to check in with those teachers to see how the kids are faring.  I speak with Teensy's teacher all the time because her daughter is one of my Girl Scouts, so there was nothing new to learn there.  Bubba is doing well.  The only issue is he is a little talkative sometimes and really if you know me at all that will come as absolutely no surprise to you.  All in all, good reports.

*Dear hubby's sisters are visiting from their respective foreign countries for a few weeks.  This, of course, means family time.  We got together with extended family for the traditional Cheese Buttons dinner last Saturday and will be having a family dinner in a nearby town this Friday. 

*The biggest time consumer and most stressful thing right now is that we are going through my Mother-in-Laws possessions.  Cleaning out the house for Dad by divvying up the things that he doesn't want sitting around in whatever new house he finds to buy and move into in an effort to move on with life, I guess.  Isn't it too soon, you ask?  Um, yes...in my opinion.  But I don't have a say.  We have been at Dad's five out of the last 6 days and will be there tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday as well.  We may get a break on Monday but it seems unlikely.

*I have also attended a Cooking Show with my Mom, a Spaghetti dinner with the in-laws, helped with a garage sale at my office, tried to work on laundry, planned a birthday party for my son, dealt with a broken down refrigerator and living out coolers for three days, and made sure that both kids were fed, bathed (occasionally) and had their homework done every night. 

The things that I still have coming up and things that I need to make sure get done include...

*Getting several parents to sign the correct permission forms for the Girl Scouts fall fundraiser since they all completed the wrong one due to a lack of communication on the part of some higher up in the organization...and definitely not me!

*Help my mom put together a float for her business for the Homecoming parade next Friday and then be in that parade with her to hand out pens for promotions.

*Attend a Girl Scout meeting and a nephew's family get-together birthday party on the same night at the same time.  Not quite sure how to pull that one off yet. 

*Finish out the last 5 days of the marathon "Divvy up Mom's Things" session before the sisters finally leave for their respective foreign countries...which is just in time for my siblings to roll into town for four more days of family togetherness!  Yipp-fricking-ee!!

*Enjoy a date night out with my hubby to see the wonderfully funny Carlos Mencia...that is if I don't fall asleep from sheer exhaustion or keel over from the amazing stress that is weighing down on my shoulders.  Oh yeah, and of course, IF we remember to find a babysitter between now and then!

*Take my son to Chuck E. Cheese's with four of his best friends (and my daughter and one of her friends because we have to be somewhat fair) to celebrate the fact that he is turning 8 years old and sit eating so-so pizza and drinking flat cola while they terrorize the small establishment for hours on end all while hoping that they pass out from exhaustion by the time we leave so that we have a quiet trip back home.

*Finish a project that I started for my friend in Iraq (Hi Jennifer!!!) so that she has something to keep her company and show her that we love her and are thinking about her all the time and get it in the mail so that it can reach her before hell freezes over before she goes back home sooner instead of later.

*Performing our cleaning job twice, purchase two children's birthday gifts and cards for two adults, keep up on the laundry, housecleaning and homework, keep the children bathed and fed regularly, pay the upcoming bills, hike a mountain, attend a birthday party for an ailing Grandparent and write a letter to another, plus run children to scouts, school, dance, daycare and home and keep the family happy with our attendance record at family functions...AND IT MUST ALL BE DONE  in the few hours that exist between the time I get off work and the time I collapse into bed to sleep fitfully.

Just a side note:  The above has all occurred or will occur between October 1st and October 19th.  After the 19th, I have one more Girl Scout meeting as well as a Leader Meeting, two Boy Scout meetings, a wedding, two dance classes, and a lot of  Product Manager duties to do (since the fundraiser ends on the 20th).  Plus I have to make a Halloween costume and buy candy, decorate for the holiday, take my kids Trick-or-Treating, bake goodies and help out at Bubba's class party and purchase three more adult birthday cards all before OCTOBER 31ST!!!

Anyone care to trade schedules???  Anyone???  No.  Damn.

Oh, what's with the title, you ask?  It's a reference to one of my favorite quotes from Robert Aspirin's M.Y.T.H series of books:

"When things are blackest, I just tell myself 'cheer up, things could be worse!' And sure enough, they get worse!"                                                                                                - Skeeve

That, dear readers, is my life.  *sigh*