Stepping forward with a tremble in my foot...

One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal.

One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room.
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey,
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what's true.
One life can make the difference,
You see, IT'S UP TO YOU!

 

Tonight I will drive 30 miles to the south.  The music will be loud, the gas pedal will be pressed and I...I will be scared. 

I will keep glancing at the small yellow post-it note stuck to the front of my faux brown leather journal on the passenger seat (the only thing I am required to bring with me other than a pen) even though in my mind I know exactly where to turn. 

I will find a parking space while my heart thumps against the walls of my chest in an effort to escape. 

I will search for room #230 in that large brick building and hope that getting lost is not a part of my itinerary for the evening. 

My hands will shake.  *note to self:  bring something to drink and remember to pee first*  I will force myself to walk through the classroom door and find a seat somewhere in the middle. 

I will search for friendly faces in the crowd around me.  Someone will finally speak to me.  Then and only then will the shaking subside and the heart calm itself. 

I will realize that I can survive the unknown...again (a lesson that I must re-learn on a constant basis). 

I will walk out of that classroom three hours later with a sense of pride only I can give myself, for the first step will have been taken.  The first real step to realizing my passion.  Or the second, I suppose, if you count this blog.

One way or another, it's up to me to let these voices out of my head.  To allow these stories to flow from my fingers.  To put it all down on paper after paper, journal after journal.  That is my dream...to let it all out, so it's not clouding my judgement, my plans and my life any longer.  The real and the imaginary, all together, on paper, in stories, trapped in the written word instead of the wrinkles in my brain. 

Are you ready for the chaos that could cause? 

No. 

But I am walking forward with my head held high, my eyes looking straight at you and my fingers itching to explode with images on paper. 

I will do this.

But I am terrified of the outcome.

Germany...here we come!

So, we did it. 

We walked in and told them that we wanted to apply.  We paid our money.  They took some pictures, talked our ears off about their own vacations...and then we waited.

We (well, I) ran to the mailbox everyday hoping for that little package.  That one that gave me the permission to go on my trip. 

And now?

Now, we officially have the little blue booklets and the permission to head over seas!  Yippee! 

And the best part is that I will always have this little blue booklet and it's cute little stamps inside.  I have one more form of identification in case I need it.

Do you know what's even better than that?

MY PICTURE LOOKS GOOD!

Score for me!  Hubby looks like an escaped convict in his dark blue work uniform and his unshaven face but, I look good.  Isn't that what matters?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next step in the journey to another land...tickets under $1400 each!

Help a girl out!  If you find tickets to Germany for a good price, let me know!  We are willing to fly out of just about anywhere as long as we can do it for a good price!

Donating by way of trivia...

I came across a site recently on a random path through the links of the internet and found it to be an interesting way to waste time, a wonderful way to work my brain and a possible way to help the hungry through the UN World Food Program. What could be better?

You should check out this site.

http://www.freerice.com/

The premise is that for every question you answer correctly, they will donate 20 grains of rice to the UN World Food Program. That's it. All you have to do is answer mulitple choice questions and they will give rice to starving people. Even the laziest of the lazy and those that the economy are treating rather harshly right now can help others in need. Awesome!

The website defaults to the category of English Vocabulary but you can change that to fit your mood and/or desire. The categories are: Famous Paintings, Chemical Symbols (Basic), Chemical Symbols (Full List), English Grammar, English Vocabulary, Identify Countries on the Map, World Capitals, French, German, Italian, Spanish, Basic Math (Pre-Algebra), and Multiplication Table.

There is a rice bowl on the right hand side of the screen that will keep track of how many grains of rice you are donating, but it resets everytime you leave the site so you have to keep track of it on your own if you want a running total every time you go back.

So far, I have donated 6130 grains of rice by procrastinating work making myself smarter. I fully intend to use this site to learn enough German vocabulary to get me by on my Germany trip! Woo Hoo! Free lessons and helping the hungry...

I repeat...what could be better than that?

101 tasks for the betterment of me in 1001 days...

The Mission:Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Some common goal setting tips:
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it. 2. Stay Focused. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.
3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.
4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.
5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

Wanna join in? Check out http://www.triplux.com/dayzero/default.asp?view=gettingstarted and create your own list.


Why I am doing it--To better myself. I thrive on lists so why not have a list of things that I want to do that will better myself, my life and my surroundings?

Without further ado, here is my list of 101 taskes for the betterment of me in the next 1001 days (to be started on January 1st, 2009 and end on September 29, 2011). I will update this list as things are completed so check back often to see my progress!

Italicized items are in progress, bold items are finished and any related blog posts are linked within the task.

1. Get both of the kids’ scrapbook albums up-to-date.
2. Catalog every Christmas tree ornament with the date it was purchased or received and reason for it’s existence.
3. Write a hand-written letter to each of the kids on his/her birthday telling them how proud I am and about special memories from that year that I can recall.
4. Completely finish my Mother’s Love journal for my kids.
5. Sit down and seriously write a will and my wishes upon the ultimate demise of
myself.
6. Make 5 dresses for Teensy that are constructed well enough for her to wear and love.
7. Spend a major holiday somewhere other than my hometown or with extended family.
8. Take Teensy to a Paint-Your-Own-Pottery place and make a tea set to display and/or use for tea parties.
9. Organize and store all hard-copy photos in photo albums or in scrapbooks and all digital photos on DVD’s or CD’s for ease of use.
10. Get kids savings accounts up to 300 each. (150/300 Teensy) (183/300 Bubba)
11. Get kids they grief counseling they need to deal with their Grandma’s death.
12. Spend an entire day with Bubba doing whatever he wants to do.
13. Spend an entire day with Teensy doing whatever she wants to do.
14. Maintain a chore/help around the house/clean up after yourself routine everyday for a month. Then repeat. (0/31)
15. Take the kids to a real amusement park.
16. Celebrate all personal holidays with greeting cards for the honoree (birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, births, etc.) for all my family and friends for a complete calendar year. (3/12)
17. Establish a regular weekly Date Night complete with babysitter and stick to it for 3 months. (0/12)
18. Write a letter to Grandpa K. every month for a year telling him about our lives and asking any questions that I would like answered to fill in the blanks about that side of the family. Include pictures of the kids and hand-written paragraphs from them, as well. (0/12)
19. Take a picture of Hubby and I together every single day we are on vacation in Germany.
20. Send a proper thank you note or card for every gift received by me or my kids and every other act of kindness that deserves recognition.
21. Re-marry my husband on our 10 year Anniversary in Las Vegas.
22. Establish a routine “Friends Night Out” to maintain the important friendships in my life. Send a letter/e-mail update if the friend is not available for in person night out.
23. Purchase a family membership to the Community Center and use it to spend time swimming with the kids, lifting weights to get in shape and walking the track.
24. Take another Girls Time-Out trip with at least one of my friends, take loads of pictures and turn them into a photo book to go with the other one.
25. Take dance classes with my hubby.
26. Go to lunch with my husband at least 3 times a month for 6 months in a row. (0/18)
27. Take a trip to see each of my siblings with the sole purpose of spending time with them.
28. Read 101 books and keep a running list of the titles and my reactions to the book itself. (0/101)
29. Completely finish one of my already started stories to the point where I am satisfied with it’s completeness.
30. Finish the cross-stitch project I started for my mother.
31. Buy or rent and watch every single episode of every season of 5 shows that I like. Check out all of the special features of the DVD’s as well.
32. Purchase a laptop computer with wireless router.
33. Watch 200 movies and keep a list of those I liked and those I didn’t. (3/200)
34. Write a letter to biological father and actually mail it.
35. Take frame-worthy photos in 10 amazing places and turn them into 10 different works of art. (0/10)
36. Learn enough German to have a short conversation and/or get around in Germany when we are there.
37. Learn how to create a webpage using HTML code.
38. Take a self defense class.
39. Cook dinner every weeknight for a month. (0/20)
40. Eat at 5 new local restaurants that I have never tried before.
41. Apply for a passport.
42. Go on a date with myself (sit at Borders and read, see a movie, eat at Perkins).
43. Relax and enjoy the trip to Germany without freaking out about the little details. Go slow and really take in the surroundings instead of flying through touristy attractions.
44. Blog everyday for 60 days without fluff pieces. (0/60)
45. Write 100,000 words of fiction meant for others to read. (0/100,000)
46. Fill my phone memory card with music to inspire me.
47. Sing in public.
48. Donate to 10 different charities within a calendar year to help others in need. Keep track of which charities helped and do a blog entry encouraging others to donate as well. (1/10)
49. Sort trash and take it to recycling center every month for 6 months. (0/6)
50. Reach and maintain a savings account balance of $2,000 for 6 consecutive months. (0/6)
51. Make and maintain regular appointments at the dentist and doctor for both me and the kids.
52. Get health insurance for whole family and maintain it.
53. Drink daily recommended amount of water every day for two weeks. (0/14)
54. Catalog all possessions on a list with receipts for the big things and pictures of each room and buy a fireproof box to put it in for insurance purposes.
55. Make a pro/con list about my job and decide if it's worth keeping or if I should be seeking more challenging employment elsewhere.
56. Spend two hours or less on the computer doing personal stuff during work hours for two weeks straight. (0/14)
57. Finish the quilt that I started on my wedding day.
58. Help Bubba to finish the paintings for his bedroom walls.
59. Paint the saying and garden on Teensy's walls so she can enjoy it before she grows out of it.
60. Write an instruction manual for life for my kids including recipes done my way, life lessons according to me, and all of the little tips that I always call to ask of my mom.
61. Take a trip to visit my Grandpa in his home and take everything as it comes without being afraid of the possibilities.
62. Explore the area in which I live (the tourist attractions, as well as, the local arts and entertainment possibilities) and bestow that same honor upon my kids.
63. Set up a bi-weekly family night where all four of us are home and are actively doing everything together (making dinner, bike ride, playing a game) and maintain it for four months. (0/8)
64. Make it a point to call/text/e-mail siblings bi-weekly for six months to keep in touch. (0/12)
65. Cook a meal at home every weeknight for a month. (0/20)
66. Eat away from home less than four times in a month.
67. See a therapist to work through emotional issues I possess.
68. Complete a large home improvement project with my husband.
69. Take a cooking class.
70. Take steps to better my writing style and to pursue my dream of getting it all on paper.

As you can see, this list isn't finished. I have a few more to add and I will do that soon. For today this is all I could come up with!

Here's to the start of a new year...and a brand new list! Yay!